“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now good evening.

Now give us a moment.... Both papers he has done on beliefs (this week) apply as beliefs—the one involving you, and today’s.

Ruburt’s set of beliefs for some time were so invisible, and he identified with them so completely, that it was extremely difficult for him to examine them in the light of the present and his now situation.

Because many of his ideas and beliefs were also bound up with you, your work, your ideas and his interpretations of them, then your relationship became entwined. Initially the beliefs were accepted because he had been taught to believe to fear his energy. On the other hand it was his pride. Now in another kind of life-style, with another kind of personality, the same belief might have been dispensed with easily. If energy flows in conventional accepted patterns it is not feared.

Give us a moment.... He had, as you mentioned, the inner knowledge of his own abilities that had, he felt, to be used. After his first marriage he determined, with the help of your love, to find a suitable framework. His natural abilities are unconventionally tuned, highly spontaneous, working through intuitive loops; in a certain way, now, from a normally conscious viewpoint, unpredictable.

Now: your attitude and his interpretation of it, to him, clearly jibed. Such courses would also represent distractions to you. He thought you hated distractions, and for a period of time he felt that you thought him one.

Now these are his interpretations, but whenever you rejected his spontaneous advances, for whatever reasons you may have had, this helped reinforce that idea. There was, my dear friend, little danger of Ruburt becoming pregnant, when spontaneous passionate moments on both of your parts were cut out.

You made love when it was safe to do so. Now this involved tricks on both of your parts, to which you both agreed. The conscious material was there. You simply ignored it. You made sure you had a good reason not to make love when Ruburt spontaneously wanted to, and the same applied to him.

These two events made him pull in his horns; or rather, his interpretation of them in the light of your relationship. He always felt now, and work this out yourselves, that you focused upon the most negative aspects of his condition, and ignored any improvement as minute. But more, that you almost disapproved of them, that you expected him to be in poor shape. So he would hide any he felt from you often for fear you would crush them, or make him lose whatever small confidence in himself physically he’d gained.

The beliefs had built up then to such an extent that highly ritualized behavior was involved. He had to be at his desk at certain times immediately. Now that has vanished. He worked that through out of sheer desperation.

Now. In one respect Ruburt is quite correct: you believe it is safer to express your doubts and negative aspects then to express your enthusiasms or hopes.

Now if he said under those conditions “I want to go out and dance,” you would say “I don’t want to make you feel bad, but I don’t think you can manage it now. Maybe later you can.”

Now when Ruburt imaginatively saw the trailer, and so forth (on our Sunday drive last weekend) and experienced that mobility in imagination, your reaction was the same as the one used for my analogy above. In his way he was using an excellent procedure, and what you thought of as reminding him of the facts was instead inhibiting freedom.

You say that when my book is finished you will move, yet each of you through the years has said “When this book is finished we will move.” Move or not, you must be consciously aware of your beliefs and deal with them on that level. Now. Ruburt’s coming back in here (Apartment 5) represented a willingness to face beliefs. To come out into the open, so to speak, with you and with the world.

Symbolic interpretations immediately became obvious, and yet brought out into the open, as in tonight’s episode. I do not want to duplicate material, but Ruburt’s seeing you working without symptoms was of great benefit. Your reaction then to the noise was upsetting, which is quite all right, because now your reactions there can be consciously assimilated. Your reaction is to yell about the condition, yet you do not move. His has been to say little and to withdraw. Though your particular interpretations of distractions may vary, to him the noise itself, for example, is not so charged. But quite rightly he recognizes the noise as your symbol for distraction.

Letters and calls were interpreted as distractions mainly—as another pull upon his energies. He recognized the psychic source of his writing, which cleared the psychic area in that respect, finally. But he was afraid that the spontaneity denied in physical life would run rampant now in inner psychic experience.

Now. From the rich bed of creative imagination springs the physical facts that appear within your lives. Ruburt’s imaginative endeavor with the trailer for example represents the kind of activity that is far more productive than any attempt “to face” the terrible conditions that could result if the situation is not solved.

Finally it came to that, where earlier he believed he could reverse the process. Now he is at the point where he is beginning to believe he can indeed reverse the process. The point of power is in the present. You must believe it, regardless of what has happened in the past, in your terms. This applies most personally. Improvements can begin and continue in this present. The ideas in Ruburt’s paper tonight are important.

Up until now Ruburt felt and believed that despite the unfortunate aspects you were willing to go along. He felt you were not willing on your own to face some issues on a conscious level, and as he grew more frightened he felt that you were willing to let him do this for both of you while you were accusing him because of the symptoms.

Now, that is enough for tonight. If you have questions I will answer them.

As probabilities operate in each moment of your life there are minute improvements in Ruburt’s condition, and minute backslidings; pulsations, really, of reactions. Now if you concentrate upon the improvements with this understanding that facts grow from that creativity, then you begin to structure your attention in the line of those improvements, minute as they appear. And they grow, sometimes slowly, or by leaps and bounds, and the backslidings begin to disappear, and become less and less apparent or meaningful.

(Jane’s handwritten notes: “Now the distractions are the symptoms—I have to get rid of them.