“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

This small episode this evening is an excellent example of your joint behavior and beliefs. Noise to you personally is a symbol for all of life’s distractions. You are then particularly sensitive in that area. Any discussion between you is at two levels, then, where sound of an unpleasant nature is involved.

He also felt that you reacted to his improvement by feeling threatened yourself, that you disapproved of it. Two particular beliefs here: The party at Bega’s, and your “tirade” —his interpretation, about his dealing with Prentice on one particular occasion. For reference it is in his notebook.

These two events made him pull in his horns; or rather, his interpretation of them in the light of your relationship. He always felt now, and work this out yourselves, that you focused upon the most negative aspects of his condition, and ignored any improvement as minute. But more, that you almost disapproved of them, that you expected him to be in poor shape. So he would hide any he felt from you often for fear you would crush them, or make him lose whatever small confidence in himself physically he’d gained.

You are to some degree, both of you, using the symptoms as excuses. Ruburt is afraid that if he can operate in a trailer, and he can, that you will find yourselves losing work time, running all over the country, and you are afraid of the same thing. Any project the two of you are attracted to but think will be distracting, you blame on the symptoms. Since this is never challenged you never know whether or not Ruburt can perform.