“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Tues. 8/11, 8:15 PM, I tried the technique of immersion as discussed by Seth in the 78th session. I tried mentally contemplating the brick wall in Ed Robbins’ fireplace at his home in New Paltz, N.Y. It seemed to work. I soon achieved a feeling of elevation and pulsation in my left side, including my left hand and foot. For a time the left hand also felt as though it were lifting out of itself in a doubled-up position. I believe I might have achieved more, but was interrupted by the singing of a mosquito in my ear.

(Both of us slept until 8:40 this evening. Jane was not nervous before the session, and again did not begin dictating until 9:01. Again, her voice was quiet and deliberate, and she used many pauses. By contrast, her pacing was quite rapid at the beginning of the session, and remained so until near the end. Her eyes darkened as usual.)

(Break at 9:35. Jane was dissociated as usual. She resumed in the same quite manner, with frequent pauses and her fast pacing, at 9:41.)

(Break at 10:04. Jane was dissociated as usual. My writing hand felt no fatigue. The nature of the material to follow will reveal the subject of our discussion at break. When she resumed, Jane’s voice changed to fit the subject, as it often does during delivery.

His powerful basic insecurity was caused by a broken home, and a situation where he was also thrown into alien cultures; not only was he unsure of belonging to a family, but also felt he had no cultural or national belongings.

A conflict as to sexual requirements developed, as various qualifications were held for the sexes in the countries in which he lived. This adds to the insecurity. My advice for once, out of desperation, was followed by Ruburt, with results that you know.

You would have moved into it on the 13th. Ruburt, mainly, worked out the problem psychologically, actually living in the house in the psychological field. Her—and I say her advisedly, since here Ruburt operated as a woman—her disappointment was instant but superficial.

(Now Jane perched on the back of the couch as she talked, and remained there for some time. She spoke very earnestly, using many gestures. It might be added that the letter referred to above was one received from the regional office of the Veterans Administration, in N.Y.C.: The letter characterized the dirt road leading up to the property as a “trail,” and stated the request for a loan was denied unless the veteran, meaning myself, could be assured that the road would be maintained by either city or county at no additional expense to the veteran. This could not be done, since at this time the road is classed as private, and must be maintained by whoever lives on the property.)

(This may be, but the bank loan offered Jane and me was quite a bit more expensive, and we did not feel we wanted to take on the added expense. It included borrowing to meet the down payment—a double mortgage, so to speak, and we wanted none of this.)

This is not meant in any way as any sort of reprimand, but merely as an example close at hand as to how expectation operates. Ruburt’s disappointment then, was only superficial, because he knew that the decision had been made much earlier. The assessor, then, with his own free will of course in operation, nevertheless saw the property as you had constructed it. I will certainly not expect you at this point to believe me literally–

(It might be worth noting here that the property was appraised by an assessor from Ithaca, NY, rather than one from Elmira. As it happened, at the time all three of the Veteran’s Administration appraisers who are based in Elmira were out of town on vacation; therefore the bank in Elmira had to call in a representative from out of town to evaluate the property—and one who had never seen the property before. Jane and I have speculated as to what the assessor’s report might have stated had it been compiled by a local man familiar with the property.)

The heat problem of which Ruburt learned, was the result of expectations on the part of the previous tenants, and need not (underline need) have concerned you. It goes without saying that your expectations have been transformed into reality, and the house now would not be practical, unless of course your own expectations changed drastically.

(Jane laughed. She was now sitting across the table from me as she dictated. This session is one of the very few in which she has been off her feet for any length of time at all.)

(End at 10:55. Jane was dissociated as usual. Still sitting across the table from me, she remarked that if Seth had promised, earlier, to maintain the road to the house for us, she would have gone through with the deal. I jokingly answered that if Seth had done something about the traffic noise rolling up the mountainside, I would have gone through with the purchase. Jane then resumed dictation at 10:56, sitting where she was.)

(My writing hand was now very tired, for the last part of the session had been quite fast. Jane told me that Seth was still with us. I had a question to ask, but hesitated to voice it until she finally surrendered with a laugh. It was simply whether the heating system, which I had accepted without alarm as being okay, would have performed better for us than the previous tenant. After the deal had fallen through, Jane accidentally heard that the heating bills in winter were exorbitant—about twice what we had been led to expect. If so, they would have made the house too expensive for us.

With the present heating system, high expectations would have increased its efficiency. Low expectations would have decreased its efficiency. Your fear of commitment was indeed an element here. You have both steadily doubted your practical efficiency in a material universe, and you will continue to do so, for with your present attitudes you will not test your efficiency. Or if you dare test it, your fears will defeat you, and only serve to convince you further of this inefficiency.

(End at 11:18. Jane was dissociated as usual. Strangely, my writing hand felt much better.)