“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Tues. 8/11, 8:15 PM, I tried the technique of immersion as discussed by Seth in the 78th session. I tried mentally contemplating the brick wall in Ed Robbins’ fireplace at his home in New Paltz, N.Y. It seemed to work. I soon achieved a feeling of elevation and pulsation in my left side, including my left hand and foot. For a time the left hand also felt as though it were lifting out of itself in a doubled-up position. I believe I might have achieved more, but was interrupted by the singing of a mosquito in my ear.

A small remark here, in line with your discussion during break. Our good Ruburt has amazed his new director by his sudden bubbling good spirits, and bewildering exuberance.

He is so different in his attitude as to appear to be two completely different people. The director is afraid to hope that this will last. He needs strongly to feel that he is liked. His affectations are for the purpose of building up an image that he believes must be superior enough to be respected. If he is not going to be liked, he is determined to be respected.

His powerful basic insecurity was caused by a broken home, and a situation where he was also thrown into alien cultures; not only was he unsure of belonging to a family, but also felt he had no cultural or national belongings.

The man does have touches of brilliance. He exaggerates his brilliance out of nagging doubts of his merit. Nevertheless, one of the basic keys to his character is the overwhelming need to be liked as a human being.

We will take the personality of your director, Ruburt, if we may. Here not only desire but expectation brought about his directorship. He wanted, and finally expected, some kind of domain of his own. Being a part of no real community as a youngster, being unsure even of family unit, he first sought out various organizational positions, and governmental environments, as a man might wrap a cloak about him to protect himself from the elements.

So he attempted to wrap himself in the cloak of organization. He remained however basically anonymous. His desire to belong and his expectation also became stronger. The gallery represents a unit of community affiliation in which he can exert some power, and yet be within a community unit.

His aggressiveness against community structures will be used constructively, in an attempt to mold the structure to his own conception of what is good, and yet force the community as a whole to recognize him as someone with whom it must deal.

This is not meant in any way as any sort of reprimand, but merely as an example close at hand as to how expectation operates. Ruburt’s disappointment then, was only superficial, because he knew that the decision had been made much earlier. The assessor, then, with his own free will of course in operation, nevertheless saw the property as you had constructed it. I will certainly not expect you at this point to believe me literally–

Your decision not to buy occurred the first time that you heard the traffic, and Ruburt’s occurred when the children took his precious berries. If looks could kill, the children would have died on the spot.