“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Then he felt that you were accusing him of being stupid, but without trying to come up with any solutions of your own. Then he felt completely alone, with a problem he feared he could not solve. [...]

[...] He felt that you would find tours, etc., highly disruptive. [...]

As mentioned today, he felt they served you, helped you save face in your family, and in society at large. [...]

At the same time you encouraged him to success, but he felt only to a certain point, for the fruits of the success you might find disruptive. [...]

You would not have left your parents so far behind at that time, he felt, except on his behalf. He felt also that you chastised him and held it against him bitterly. [...]

[...] You both felt that since you were the one who had the part-time job, Ruburt would accept the physical symptoms of your predicament, and you felt this was just.

[...] He felt you blamed him for this, and thought it was an undisciplined action on his part, forcing you to make changes you did not want to make.

[...] He thought, or felt, that by taking on the symptoms of your joint problem, he could free you creatively, and was bewildered when it did not.

[...] At the same time I felt worse. I had not been helping Jane and felt guilty about it, and angry at the relatives. [...]

[...] I kept my eyes closed from the start, but midway in the session felt that I could not have opened them, at least very easily [re Jane’s suggestions when she is putting me under].

[...] They felt as though they moved much more easily and to a greater degree than usual. [...]

(When I did, I felt very relaxed indeed, almost rubbery. [...]

Inspiration and creativity he felt he could trust, but never felt he could trust his working capacity in the way he thought of work. [...]

He was living with you, someone he loved who had a different temperament, and tried to make his align with your own because of his love, and also because he felt your ides were better. You were older, knew more, he felt; and you were also afraid of the spontaneous qualities that he possessed.

Your mother felt that his creativity was a threat to stability, so maintaining your own creativity stubbornly, you still felt to some degree that it was a threat, that it would not pay off, and so you tried to clothe it in the garb of work, effort, regular hours, and stability, and to deny or play down its playful aspects.

[...] He felt suddenly comparatively free.

I also sensed, or felt, a great chute or trough or pathway of some kind that reached down into me from above me, or at least from outside of me. [...] I even thought that perhaps I was having some sort of physical attack, though I felt no pain.

[...] At the same time, I felt worse. I had not been helping Jane and felt guilty about it and was angry at Miss C’s relatives. [...]

[...] I had the odd feeling that the sensation was related both to the subject of conversation, and to some kind of message or communication I felt within me.

Looking back now, the next morning, I think the possibility crossed my mind that some psychic effects were being felt, but, actually, I was so startled that I didn’t think much of anything.

(9:58.) For a while, though he would not admit it, he felt that he would be welcomed with open arms by someone, meaning some system. [...] All he had to do was translate his experience into their terms, as before he felt he was expected to translate it into conventional religious, academic, or scientific terms.

[...] It was a method of operation that allowed him to go ahead with what he felt was reasonable caution. While it limited his inner and outer potential to some degree, he still felt overall that he was going ahead as fast as he dared to.

Ruburt felt that he needed protection. He also felt he had to discipline himself because he could not trust himself, and his symptoms served, again, to keep him at his work. [...]

[...] I’d propped it open enough so that our cat, Willy, could get in when he felt like it.)

[...] Her head felt weightless beneath my finger, I told her, and she said it felt weightless to her, too. [...] She talked again about how good it felt to move her head that way. [...]

[...] After Dawn left Jane said she felt motion in her hips for the first time. [...]

This afternoon’s physical performance does indeed represent another important breakthrough, for he felt within him that ease and motion, that release of tension that is so vital for his body’s normal, healthy performance. [...]

[...] She still felt a sense of triumph; really good. [...]

[...] When these were released, when he left the initial environment, he ran willy-nilly, he felt. [...] (Pause.) At this point he began to rely upon you somewhat as a controlling factor, since he felt you were more given to reason and control. [...]

Otherwise he felt he might fritter his energy away. At the same time he was afraid of it for the reasons given, and felt it was best to handle it in an environment of applied controls.

[...] He was terrified of the vulnerability to pain, and yet he felt the ability to face and handle the pain was something he would run away from otherwise; that he had done everything to avoid it, and that it was one of life’s physical realities that he had refused to admit. So he felt a taste of it would not hurt him.

He also felt it would help him understand to some extent his mother’s actions, and rid him of the hatred he had of her. [...] He did not really believe, intellectually, what I told him, that you form your own reality, and he felt that the symptoms would also help. [...]

[...] Once this was very strong when my hands felt crossed upon my waist, although actually they lay by my sides. My feet felt jammed together at the heels quite forcibly, and at one time my hands felt enlarged. [...]

(At one time all of my limbs felt as though they wanted to lift up out of themselves. The left arm especially felt as though it was stiff, and hinged at the shoulder so that it would lift up stiffly like a lever.

[...] At one time my hands felt very large, and several feet [3] apart, though in actuality they lay at my sides. Once my hands and feet felt as though they would rise up. [...]

(Jane slept from 8 to 8:30 this evening, and upon arising felt quite uneasy. [...]

Twilight; remembered Seth last PM on sense data; felt myself respond... [...] come together in my body better and felt small secret places within my body for which I have no names, relax, open, pools in the back of the ears ripple and relax. [...]

[...] Felt much better today, mentally and physically—roused, enthusiastic—followed Seth’s suggestions as far as I recalled them from last night and with I admit, results. [...]

[...] (True.) He felt that you ignored him when you became ill—that you were growing so morose that you felt life meaningless. Then the sessions came (in 1963), and he felt they had saved you both.

[...] It seemed to him lately that you did not want to dance when he felt at his best, and you wanted him to when he felt less well. [...]

(Since I have great faith in the pendulum, I wanted to know why it insisted that I did not have a cold—when I had felt poor indeed all week. [...]

You felt to some extent that you had fallen down in taking advantage of the sessions, that you were not putting into practice certain behavior there suggested. [...]

(Jane still felt the energy at 10:41. She said she felt that when she stood up she would shoot ahead through the wall—shoot straight ahead—she felt a great energy about her, and wondered about her physical control. [...] Yet her feet felt like lead, to her surprise, and she was surprised at the sheer physical movement.

(At 11:07 she still felt the energy, but it was slowly diminishing; although still strong. Jane feels the energy went through her yet left a residue, for she now felt much better than before the session. [...]

[...] She said she had felt the energy, carrying her along, that has begun to reveal itself regularly. [...]

[...] Ruburt sensed this quite well in the past, and feared to open those channels until he felt himself suitably ready and prepared. [...]

(Late yesterday afternoon my pendulum told me that Jane’s symptoms stemmed from her feeling that she had failed to become a successful “straight” writer—a novelist, poet, essayist, et al.; that she felt she had failed as the serious writer she had always dreamed of becoming, that the psychic work represented a turning down a wrong path; that actually, basically, the psychic work represented failure to her rather than success. [...] I intuitively felt them to be true. [...]

[...] I am digressing here to bring you another issue: the strong responsibility he always felt toward his writing ability, he naturally felt toward the psychic ability—but without the necessary sense of discrimination, since he didn’t realize what such activities involved.

[...] He felt (long pause at 9 PM) that he had no right to try to do “creative” (in quotes) work that might not pay. He felt also that you were jealous of his own writing, but not of the psychic work, this being further in the past.

He also felt that if you were a success as an artist he could write what he damned pleased, hid that anger, and felt extremely disloyal.

[...] My legs from the knees down felt considerably lighter. Along with this sensation they also felt curiously stunted, with the right leg bent and drawn partly up at an odd angle. [...]

(Then the central part of my body felt depressed down to bed level; I had the odd thought that I was more aware of the bed beneath my middle body than I was of the body itself. [...] At the same time, my arms and hands, remaining where they were, then felt elevated. [...]

[...] Felt I could see through my closed eyelids.)

(Also at times my body felt lighter, as though it was engaging in exploratory movement.

(Then suddenly my own body and the room and John and Rob, the whole bit, began to get larger and larger, really massive, my body along with everything else, and at the same time, eyes closed of course, I felt the shapes doing this. It seemed as if the room now was almost huge enough to take up all of Elmira; but I didn’t feel as if; I felt as if this were actually happening. [...]

(After break, still felt the pyramid bit; so went along and session continued. Then more sensations; or rather, again I felt sensations that were concepts translated into feeling rather than words; but feelings and images. [...]

[...] After first break, before session was to resume, I felt the pyramid effect that usually signals the other personality. [...]

[...] The merging of self with action in the expansion episode was dismaying at first; just so alien; because I felt the expansion in general; not just specifically in my own body, for example. [...]

You have not felt that you succeeded at anything. You have not felt that you manipulated well in physical reality, in the world as it is, and to some extent you hated both the world and yourself for this. [...]

[...] You felt him very powerful, aggressive, and unreasonably so in his behavior. It did not seem to you that you could become as strong as you felt him to be then—that whatever you did you would fall short.

You felt hardly strong enough to handle your own fears, and could not bear the thought that she might need your help also. [...]

[...] You have felt for a long time that you were between the devil and the deep blue sea. [...]

[...] By now, however, felt as if lightness rose through body, and this changed so that suddenly I felt as if lower part of body had dissolved completely, up to chest. [...] First, I was aware that I felt as if body had dissolved below chest; but then thought that it really might have. [...] I know this is silly, but felt scared that if lower part of body was dissolved; and all that was left was chest and shoulder and head region, then I would just fall down; a chest, shoulders, and head on street. [...]

[...] Without warning I felt as if the bed was disappearing beneath my hands, as sand will shift away, leaving pockets of nothingness there, that kept enlarging. My thumbs definitely felt as if they were grasping the edge of these holes of nothingness; the holes enlarged further, spreading out beneath. A few minutes later, this is most difficult to describe, I felt a quick definite and physical whoosh outward as if I was suddenly shooting or rushing out through my head, longwise—strong frightening sense of motion and being completely carried away. [...]

[...] Then the next thing I remember is a marvelous feeling of lightness, I felt not so much buoyant as free of resistance; physical resistance. Free of physical bulk, of physical pressures, as say, sometimes we imagine we might have felt sometime in early childhood. This didn’t register at first though; just felt unusually good, enjoying my walk, conscious of the lightness of my step, aware of a satisfying unity with creation.

[...] Then felt as if legs, arms, belly...dissolved, I guess is the best description. [...] Felt some resistance [on chest?] against rising, but decided it was not wise to experiment beyond normal time limit, and got up.

You both felt that the development of those abilities must be protected, lest the need for financial security lead you into full-time work on a long-term basis. You felt that you must to some extent allow your love for each other to nourish those abilities, and yet not jeopardize them lest it lead you into parenthood.

You felt that you must to some extent at least protect yourselves against your neighbors—who as both of you said often “Would take up all of your time without a qualm”—neighbors or friends who you felt would not understand your goals, however good their intent. [...]

He felt he responded to people more emotionally, and so he took steps to see that artificial restraints were applied, so to speak, for those tendencies, he felt, could jeopardize not only his own work, but yours. [...]

When, as time progressed, the need for constant decisions to speak here and there, to see thus and so, to do housework or write, or whatever, Ruburt simply began to cut down on the body’s availability to action, and he felt that that would take care of that.

Up until now Ruburt felt and believed that despite the unfortunate aspects you were willing to go along. He felt you were not willing on your own to face some issues on a conscious level, and as he grew more frightened he felt that you were willing to let him do this for both of you while you were accusing him because of the symptoms.

[...] He felt that this same quality, physically translated, led to a physical spontaneity that would make the inner spontaneity more difficult to achieve. Spontaneity and energy used in his work was one thing, but allowed physical translation, he felt, could mean bizarre, unreasonable physical complications.

He was then just over 30, and felt that his abilities had not begun to show fruition. The beliefs gathered momentum then, coming from structures from childhood that he felt he could use, and from you ideas, which then, were very much like his.

[...] He always felt now, and work this out yourselves, that you focused upon the most negative aspects of his condition, and ignored any improvement as minute. [...] So he would hide any he felt from you often for fear you would crush them, or make him lose whatever small confidence in himself physically he’d gained.

[...] The painting to you had such strongly feminine connotations that subconsciously you felt your studio was like a womb, out of which the paintings were produced. You felt that this had some (underlined) terrifying implications, many of them threatening your sense of masculinity since, because of your misconceptions you were convinced ahead of time that they would never be used as a means of livelihood.

Ruburt on the other hand felt he could use psychic books as a means of livelihood, for in the books at least he felt the masculine and female tendencies merge; the intellect making use of the intuitive information.

You, being a male, he felt, would be most alarmed at any undue emotionalisms. [...]

He was afraid that as once he felt he dragged you all over the country, you would fear that he was now dragging you all over the inner universe. [...]