“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

To some extent Ruburt has identified with him. He was after all Ruburt’s mother’s father, and therefore the source out of which Ruburt’s mother came—the higher power, so to speak. The ape emotionally represented the instincts in true light, as dependable, supportive, and as the basis for earthly existence. Ruburt as an infant, then, experienced the strength of the earthly source. This means that he is to trust his instincts as far as letters are concerned, or healing, or whatever. At the same time the ape male and female represents the sexual quality of the earth, male and female being simply other versions of each other. This automatically helps resolve certain conflicts Ruburt had involving male-female identifications. In other terms the past was altered, in that Ruburt now experienced the yearned-for mother love that was warm in its animal female understanding, supportive and strong enough to easily bear a child’s small ragings and hatreds.

He also identified with his grandfather as a child, seeking protection from his mother in someone who seemed to love him more. The negative image, dashed then, gave forth the symbolized image that he had been using in his mind. He then turned into a baby, because the identification began early. Do you follow me?

(10:17.) Give us a moment.... These represented the power of the body not being used, the animal instincts denied. The vitality. He identified with them perfectly however as himself, or versions. The woman’s was a more possible version of himself. The male figure however represented the fact that he believes that strong muscular motion is a male characteristic, and not one that he feels belongs to mentally oriented males. In this life he never sought tall, strongly developed, muscular, large-boned males out, but avoided them. He felt they would not understand his mental properties. Here indeed he saw a symbolic representation of Ruburt—not one that could be physically materialized with his bone structure as a woman, but a figure of idealistic physical proportions that also possessed great mental faculties to match.

The woman, not seen that clearly, nevertheless represented the female version possible. The difference in hair coloring represented the fact that these are, so far, idealizations—yet he did identify with them. There were idealizations because he had not yet encountered the ape man-woman, for that connection was necessary before those qualities could be physically actualized. The actualization had to occur in the past, so he became a child again.