“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The religious element in one way or another has always been a strong one. It has at one time or another in various lives been on the side of the strongly disciplined portions, in which case it was greatly given to dogma, and concerned with cultural problems of punishment and law; or followed the intuitive side, in which it emerged as mediumship, and high mysticism.

So these important elements merge at this point. It is the first time, so to speak, that the personality, seriously tried to merge them, and yet for prime development and fulfillment this had to be accomplished. The personality regards this as a challenge of the highest order, but strains naturally develop.

Give us time here. I will at your request, at any time, give you the details of these lives. This evening I am answering the question I believe most important, and details will follow. I will not put you off on this. Now. In this life until very recently the personality has been involved with highly charged, volatile emotional personalities. He worked up a proportional degree of energy to ward off their influence. It was necessary that he learn how to do this. Do you follow me?

(Jane stayed under all right, sat quietly most of the time, and resumed at 9:40.)

He also felt, as mentioned earlier, that emotionalism on his part brought you ill fortune in Florida. The part-time job at the gallery for a while became a controlling factor, preventing him from dealing with the creative self on a full-time basis.

Now I was not able to give you any information, particularly at that time, but this did have something to do with my rather vehement recording, which I hoped would have the effect of discouraging Dr. Instream. I could not however shield Ruburt in all of his activities in any case. He would have to face the problem, and if it was circumvented in one way it could have returned at a later date.

You have I believe the reason for the symptoms now as clearly as it can be given. Give us time.

Ruburt interpreted Instream’s final attitude to mean that the psychologist had more or less by implication justified the mother’s frequent warning. The affair was not to be taken seriously as a psychic phenomena, and Ruburt with his either/or attitude then decided that it was time to apply controls.

The symptoms had begun however before that time, but lightly. He also felt that you had adopted symptoms earlier, somewhat that as a system of controls—that you were so emotionally upset you didn’t know what to do, and therefore put yourself in a position where you could do little of importance: you could not make errors.

Otherwise he felt he might fritter his energy away. At the same time he was afraid of it for the reasons given, and felt it was best to handle it in an environment of applied controls.

Give us time. He did not count upon the body’s response. He was terrified of the vulnerability to pain, and yet he felt the ability to face and handle the pain was something he would run away from otherwise; that he had done everything to avoid it, and that it was one of life’s physical realities that he had refused to admit. So he felt a taste of it would not hurt him.

He also felt it would help him understand to some extent his mother’s actions, and rid him of the hatred he had of her. Now give us time. The problem as he set it in the framework he made for it, was quite literally huge. He also wanted to understand the effect of mind on matter. He did not really believe, intellectually, what I told him, that you form your own reality, and he felt that the symptoms would also help. He did not get his symptoms to test my theories, understand. Do you follow me?

Give us time. He was quite appalled at the conditions once he had set them up. He did not realize until he went through it, how this kind of strain reacts on the body. When he began to realize this the inner plan had already been put into effect, and at the time of worst symptoms he literally could not withdraw quickly. Many processes had to be reversed.

This realization then threw him into panic, reinforcing the symptoms. Now give us time. Your father’s condition frightened him because of the mother’s old suggestions of losing the mind, and of course the nursing home environment that represents to him the mother’s environment.

What you have now is a residue in the body of conflict representing mental conflict, when at the same time the muscles are being given signals to let go completely, and also signals to tense, signals of control. They work against themselves then. Give us time. (Pause.)

Now, this also causes a lack at times of lubricating fluid in the female organs, which is why Ruburt will turn away, as you mentioned.

The controls were actually adopted in fear against the insanity threatened by his mother, and the implications that he felt implied in the Instream affair. He did not for example fear he was insane, but he felt the need once more to control the spontaneity. Your father’s condition as always had these implications, and it did not escape him that your father, in his mental condition, is put in a wheelchair and restrained forcibly. In other words Ruburt restrained himself ahead of time.

Give us time. He has been letting the symptoms go, as he has become aware of emotional stabilities. He has let them go slowly: “Now how will you behave if I give you this much more freedom? And a little more?” You see. Give us time. (One minute pause.)

Now the difficulty in the morning follows those days when he feels he has not put in his writing time, and he does not realize this. He projects that day of relative failure into the next day, and experiences symptoms and feelings of hopelessness upon awakening.

His conscious mind, when he is not writing, should be anchored on something. There is too much unrecognized free brooding, when he sits doing nothing consciously, waiting perhaps for inspiration but not in a positive way. He will know to what periods I am referring, now that I have pointed it out. He should have a painting in progress as a hobby, or several for such times, or do household activities. His mind, his conscious mind, is the type that should be anchored in such a way, for it is overactive, otherwise, and when he is not at his best it will leap to brooding. He lets this go by.