“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He has used his symptoms to some degree as a checking point. Before, the presence of his mother and those surroundings acted as both restraints on over-spontaneity, and as aids for the growth of creativity. Do you follow me here?

Therefore the symptoms were adopted, mimicking the mother’s symptoms was the next best thing to having the presence of the mother as a control against the spontaneity.

You have I believe the reason for the symptoms now as clearly as it can be given. Give us time.

The symptoms had begun however before that time, but lightly. He also felt that you had adopted symptoms earlier, somewhat that as a system of controls—that you were so emotionally upset you didn’t know what to do, and therefore put yourself in a position where you could do little of importance: you could not make errors.

The symptoms initially were clamped on in panic. One or two poor test results frightened him. This of course added to the other issues. The purpose however was two-fold again, the development of an environment in which controls would be there: the symptoms taking the place in this case of the mother’s restrictive presence, and the comparative isolation in the house, the comparative solitude that he felt was necessary then for the emergence of the creative abilities—both of these you see existing in the child environment.

He also felt it would help him understand to some extent his mother’s actions, and rid him of the hatred he had of her. Now give us time. The problem as he set it in the framework he made for it, was quite literally huge. He also wanted to understand the effect of mind on matter. He did not really believe, intellectually, what I told him, that you form your own reality, and he felt that the symptoms would also help. He did not get his symptoms to test my theories, understand. Do you follow me?

Give us time. He was quite appalled at the conditions once he had set them up. He did not realize until he went through it, how this kind of strain reacts on the body. When he began to realize this the inner plan had already been put into effect, and at the time of worst symptoms he literally could not withdraw quickly. Many processes had to be reversed.

This realization then threw him into panic, reinforcing the symptoms. Now give us time. Your father’s condition frightened him because of the mother’s old suggestions of losing the mind, and of course the nursing home environment that represents to him the mother’s environment.

One evening dancing, he tried consciously too hard, so that he tensed the muscles as he was trying to use them, and there was a physical result then. Now, the point is, he no longer needs the controls. (Pause.) Understand that the whole situation, on a very deep basis, was protective as it tried to reproduce to some extent, though to a far lesser extent, those early conditions that allowed for the controlled and disciplined growth of strong creative abilities. He chose a mock version of those early restraints. Now. The controls are no longer necessary. The reasons as given in this evening’s session should make him realize that. The physical symptoms now remaining are a direct result of these contradictory messages being given—one relax let go, the other wait, now, not so fast, slow up.

Give us time. He has been letting the symptoms go, as he has become aware of emotional stabilities. He has let them go slowly: “Now how will you behave if I give you this much more freedom? And a little more?” You see. Give us time. (One minute pause.)

Again, we are trying to search for all pertinent points. (Two minute pause.) There are still a few issues, and I am trying to get at them. (Long pause.) His writing schedule, as he knows, should be maintained. He punishes himself with symptoms when it is not. The symptoms then become an issue for the next few days, that prevent him to some extent from carrying out the schedule. It can be flexible, but he operates well within it and can use it as an aid.

The depressions are also caused when he overemphasizes control and smothers spontaneity. Now the writing schedule provides two needs, both control and spontaneity, and is therefore comfortable. A circle is set up: an overemphasis on control leads him to a depression, which interferes with his writing schedule. This bringing on symptoms which further impede the schedule.

He feels then that he is accomplishing nothing, and this period ends this cycle with a depression like the one in the beginning of the cycle, in that he usually manages through discussion with you or Psycho-Cybernetics to break the cycle and initiate a period of fair balance; and symptoms are minimized and decent improvement shows.

Now the difficulty in the morning follows those days when he feels he has not put in his writing time, and he does not realize this. He projects that day of relative failure into the next day, and experiences symptoms and feelings of hopelessness upon awakening.

Now, some practical suggestions: one I mentioned earlier. Remember that many symptoms have vanished. He should be on the alert for restrictive statements, vocal or mental—I can’t, for example; I’d better go slowly; or mental pictures of that nature. Such thoughts automatically tense the muscles. If he is consciously adding instructions to relax on top of this he worsens the situation, for the muscles cannot relax and contract at once.