“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He has used his symptoms to some degree as a checking point. Before, the presence of his mother and those surroundings acted as both restraints on over-spontaneity, and as aids for the growth of creativity. Do you follow me here?

Unfortunately several episodes frightened him enough so that he felt again the need for controls. Now here is one nice little point. Ruburt’s mother, as mentioned earlier, had often told him that if he kept on as he was going he would lose his mind; and contacts with psychologists, when he feels they are testing him, brings up this old issue.

Now I could not tell you, for the personality had set up its own guards in the realm of personal material. The old Instream data enters into this. Now Ruburt’s mother was not there to serve as a restraining element. You would no longer act in that role. Moreover, Ruburt did not feel it proper to project that role upon you any longer.

Therefore the symptoms were adopted, mimicking the mother’s symptoms was the next best thing to having the presence of the mother as a control against the spontaneity.

Ruburt interpreted Instream’s final attitude to mean that the psychologist had more or less by implication justified the mother’s frequent warning. The affair was not to be taken seriously as a psychic phenomena, and Ruburt with his either/or attitude then decided that it was time to apply controls.

The symptoms initially were clamped on in panic. One or two poor test results frightened him. This of course added to the other issues. The purpose however was two-fold again, the development of an environment in which controls would be there: the symptoms taking the place in this case of the mother’s restrictive presence, and the comparative isolation in the house, the comparative solitude that he felt was necessary then for the emergence of the creative abilities—both of these you see existing in the child environment.

He also felt it would help him understand to some extent his mother’s actions, and rid him of the hatred he had of her. Now give us time. The problem as he set it in the framework he made for it, was quite literally huge. He also wanted to understand the effect of mind on matter. He did not really believe, intellectually, what I told him, that you form your own reality, and he felt that the symptoms would also help. He did not get his symptoms to test my theories, understand. Do you follow me?

This realization then threw him into panic, reinforcing the symptoms. Now give us time. Your father’s condition frightened him because of the mother’s old suggestions of losing the mind, and of course the nursing home environment that represents to him the mother’s environment.

The controls were actually adopted in fear against the insanity threatened by his mother, and the implications that he felt implied in the Instream affair. He did not for example fear he was insane, but he felt the need once more to control the spontaneity. Your father’s condition as always had these implications, and it did not escape him that your father, in his mental condition, is put in a wheelchair and restrained forcibly. In other words Ruburt restrained himself ahead of time.

It is also good for him to see that it has changed, that it exists in the present, along with his own adulthood, and you can remind him of this. Even his mother you see has left the town. Now do you have questions?