“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Fear of course was the motive behind this iron discipline. In the last life, as a medium, he had swung somewhat to the other side again, deliberately not using his intellect and giving the spontaneous portions full play. He was open-hearted, rather childishly vain, the emotional pattern quickly moving from joy to tears.

Other portions of the personality, while recognizing this, still felt that the personality as a whole needed to impose some restraints upon what it regarded as flamboyantly spontaneous qualities. Therefore it chose a highly restrictive early environment. It chose a parent whose emotions were highly unrestrained, so that the parent’s action could serve as a constant reminder of its own flamboyant emotions.

Give us time here. I will at your request, at any time, give you the details of these lives. This evening I am answering the question I believe most important, and details will follow. I will not put you off on this. Now. In this life until very recently the personality has been involved with highly charged, volatile emotional personalities. He worked up a proportional degree of energy to ward off their influence. It was necessary that he learn how to do this. Do you follow me?

In so doing he learned to understand his own emotional nature, how to direct its energies, and how to use it as a source of creativity and psychic and spiritual accomplishment.

Now. When these were released, when he left the initial environment, he ran willy-nilly, he felt. He tended to be ruled more than he would prefer by emotionalism. (Pause.) At this point he began to rely upon you somewhat as a controlling factor, since he felt you were more given to reason and control. When you became ill, he realized that no other human being could be used in such a way.

He also felt, as mentioned earlier, that emotionalism on his part brought you ill fortune in Florida. The part-time job at the gallery for a while became a controlling factor, preventing him from dealing with the creative self on a full-time basis.

The symptoms had begun however before that time, but lightly. He also felt that you had adopted symptoms earlier, somewhat that as a system of controls—that you were so emotionally upset you didn’t know what to do, and therefore put yourself in a position where you could do little of importance: you could not make errors.

Give us time. He has been letting the symptoms go, as he has become aware of emotional stabilities. He has let them go slowly: “Now how will you behave if I give you this much more freedom? And a little more?” You see. Give us time. (One minute pause.)