“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He was murdered for an act of pure thoughtlessness, of impulse. He determined to discipline himself much more carefully from then on, but from this point he threw himself wholeheartedly, for two lives, into lives of great restraint and overcontrol.

Fear of course was the motive behind this iron discipline. In the last life, as a medium, he had swung somewhat to the other side again, deliberately not using his intellect and giving the spontaneous portions full play. He was open-hearted, rather childishly vain, the emotional pattern quickly moving from joy to tears.

It chose an environment where hardship would automatically teach a certain discipline, and yet one in which the psychic nature of the circumstances would also permit intuitive creative growth. In fact the controls were applied precisely in proportion to the intuitive gifts. The purpose was to set up a situation in which both strong facets of the personality could emerge; the intellectual, reasoning, rather practical and controlling aspects, hand in hand with the highly volatile creative spontaneous portions.

The religious element in one way or another has always been a strong one. It has at one time or another in various lives been on the side of the strongly disciplined portions, in which case it was greatly given to dogma, and concerned with cultural problems of punishment and law; or followed the intuitive side, in which it emerged as mediumship, and high mysticism.

Once the development occurred however the personality knew it would now have to face the main issue: how to handle its own creativity, and find a comfortable balance between spontaneity and discipline. It could have been clear sailing from there in.

One evening dancing, he tried consciously too hard, so that he tensed the muscles as he was trying to use them, and there was a physical result then. Now, the point is, he no longer needs the controls. (Pause.) Understand that the whole situation, on a very deep basis, was protective as it tried to reproduce to some extent, though to a far lesser extent, those early conditions that allowed for the controlled and disciplined growth of strong creative abilities. He chose a mock version of those early restraints. Now. The controls are no longer necessary. The reasons as given in this evening’s session should make him realize that. The physical symptoms now remaining are a direct result of these contradictory messages being given—one relax let go, the other wait, now, not so fast, slow up.