“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

There are tendencies and conflicts that have been with the personality in other existences, that have influenced his nature as he vacillated between spontaneity, usually exaggerated, and overdiscipline; in some lives a great lack of concern for the welfare of others, that could be called an innocent callousness, a joyful, utterly spontaneous personality with little idea of practicality. He died once simply as a result of acting without thought, forethought, on the impulse of the moment.

He was murdered for an act of pure thoughtlessness, of impulse. He determined to discipline himself much more carefully from then on, but from this point he threw himself wholeheartedly, for two lives, into lives of great restraint and overcontrol.

Fear of course was the motive behind this iron discipline. In the last life, as a medium, he had swung somewhat to the other side again, deliberately not using his intellect and giving the spontaneous portions full play. He was open-hearted, rather childishly vain, the emotional pattern quickly moving from joy to tears.

With all of this he helped many, and died at an old age.

Give us time here. I will at your request, at any time, give you the details of these lives. This evening I am answering the question I believe most important, and details will follow. I will not put you off on this. Now. In this life until very recently the personality has been involved with highly charged, volatile emotional personalities. He worked up a proportional degree of energy to ward off their influence. It was necessary that he learn how to do this. Do you follow me?

In so doing he learned to understand his own emotional nature, how to direct its energies, and how to use it as a source of creativity and psychic and spiritual accomplishment.

He has used his symptoms to some degree as a checking point. Before, the presence of his mother and those surroundings acted as both restraints on over-spontaneity, and as aids for the growth of creativity. Do you follow me here?

Now. When these were released, when he left the initial environment, he ran willy-nilly, he felt. He tended to be ruled more than he would prefer by emotionalism. (Pause.) At this point he began to rely upon you somewhat as a controlling factor, since he felt you were more given to reason and control. When you became ill, he realized that no other human being could be used in such a way.

He also felt, as mentioned earlier, that emotionalism on his part brought you ill fortune in Florida. The part-time job at the gallery for a while became a controlling factor, preventing him from dealing with the creative self on a full-time basis.

The psychic development was one of the main issues of importance he had been waiting for, and several circumstances had to be met first. He had to be in fairly dependable circumstances, fairly permanent surroundings. There had to be a strong need to propel the development, as impetus. These were met.

Unfortunately several episodes frightened him enough so that he felt again the need for controls. Now here is one nice little point. Ruburt’s mother, as mentioned earlier, had often told him that if he kept on as he was going he would lose his mind; and contacts with psychologists, when he feels they are testing him, brings up this old issue.

Now I was not able to give you any information, particularly at that time, but this did have something to do with my rather vehement recording, which I hoped would have the effect of discouraging Dr. Instream. I could not however shield Ruburt in all of his activities in any case. He would have to face the problem, and if it was circumvented in one way it could have returned at a later date.

The symptoms had begun however before that time, but lightly. He also felt that you had adopted symptoms earlier, somewhat that as a system of controls—that you were so emotionally upset you didn’t know what to do, and therefore put yourself in a position where you could do little of importance: you could not make errors.

Since he had temporarily put you in the role of a controlling factor, this was also in the back of his mind. You emerged whole and hearty, and so should he. The issues were not identical, you see, but similar enough in his mind.

The symptoms initially were clamped on in panic. One or two poor test results frightened him. This of course added to the other issues. The purpose however was two-fold again, the development of an environment in which controls would be there: the symptoms taking the place in this case of the mother’s restrictive presence, and the comparative isolation in the house, the comparative solitude that he felt was necessary then for the emergence of the creative abilities—both of these you see existing in the child environment.

Otherwise he felt he might fritter his energy away. At the same time he was afraid of it for the reasons given, and felt it was best to handle it in an environment of applied controls.

Give us time. He did not count upon the body’s response. He was terrified of the vulnerability to pain, and yet he felt the ability to face and handle the pain was something he would run away from otherwise; that he had done everything to avoid it, and that it was one of life’s physical realities that he had refused to admit. So he felt a taste of it would not hurt him.

He also felt it would help him understand to some extent his mother’s actions, and rid him of the hatred he had of her. Now give us time. The problem as he set it in the framework he made for it, was quite literally huge. He also wanted to understand the effect of mind on matter. He did not really believe, intellectually, what I told him, that you form your own reality, and he felt that the symptoms would also help. He did not get his symptoms to test my theories, understand. Do you follow me?

Give us time. He was quite appalled at the conditions once he had set them up. He did not realize until he went through it, how this kind of strain reacts on the body. When he began to realize this the inner plan had already been put into effect, and at the time of worst symptoms he literally could not withdraw quickly. Many processes had to be reversed.

The matter of speaking the opposite of what he means to say: this always occurs then he makes an innocuous remark that is meant to cover up a repressed feeling. The remarks are again harmless ones, usually a line or two of pointless conversation, chatter meant to cover up a thought that has briefly come into consciousness, and been repressed.

The use of the opposite is simply to tell him that he is not meaning what he says, that the remark, usually a pleasant one, is covering up an unpleasant feeling.

The Psycho-Cybernetics that I have mentioned, when he does them properly, make him smile, reducing tension in the facial and neck areas. Good relaxation is extremely important, where the muscles are let go as far as possible. Physical activity of a fairly steady variety is good. Both are needed.

One evening dancing, he tried consciously too hard, so that he tensed the muscles as he was trying to use them, and there was a physical result then. Now, the point is, he no longer needs the controls. (Pause.) Understand that the whole situation, on a very deep basis, was protective as it tried to reproduce to some extent, though to a far lesser extent, those early conditions that allowed for the controlled and disciplined growth of strong creative abilities. He chose a mock version of those early restraints. Now. The controls are no longer necessary. The reasons as given in this evening’s session should make him realize that. The physical symptoms now remaining are a direct result of these contradictory messages being given—one relax let go, the other wait, now, not so fast, slow up.

The controls were actually adopted in fear against the insanity threatened by his mother, and the implications that he felt implied in the Instream affair. He did not for example fear he was insane, but he felt the need once more to control the spontaneity. Your father’s condition as always had these implications, and it did not escape him that your father, in his mental condition, is put in a wheelchair and restrained forcibly. In other words Ruburt restrained himself ahead of time.

Give us time. He has been letting the symptoms go, as he has become aware of emotional stabilities. He has let them go slowly: “Now how will you behave if I give you this much more freedom? And a little more?” You see. Give us time. (One minute pause.)

For him now the idea of a long trip is a daring adventure: does he really have the freedom to go so far?

Earlier this evening when you were speaking of the weekend he mentioned two days, and you said Sunday. He interpreted this to mean that you did not think he had the freedom to travel as far as a two-day trip.

Again, we are trying to search for all pertinent points. (Two minute pause.) There are still a few issues, and I am trying to get at them. (Long pause.) His writing schedule, as he knows, should be maintained. He punishes himself with symptoms when it is not. The symptoms then become an issue for the next few days, that prevent him to some extent from carrying out the schedule. It can be flexible, but he operates well within it and can use it as an aid.

The depressions are also caused when he overemphasizes control and smothers spontaneity. Now the writing schedule provides two needs, both control and spontaneity, and is therefore comfortable. A circle is set up: an overemphasis on control leads him to a depression, which interferes with his writing schedule. This bringing on symptoms which further impede the schedule.

He feels then that he is accomplishing nothing, and this period ends this cycle with a depression like the one in the beginning of the cycle, in that he usually manages through discussion with you or Psycho-Cybernetics to break the cycle and initiate a period of fair balance; and symptoms are minimized and decent improvement shows.

Now the difficulty in the morning follows those days when he feels he has not put in his writing time, and he does not realize this. He projects that day of relative failure into the next day, and experiences symptoms and feelings of hopelessness upon awakening.

Now, some practical suggestions: one I mentioned earlier. Remember that many symptoms have vanished. He should be on the alert for restrictive statements, vocal or mental—I can’t, for example; I’d better go slowly; or mental pictures of that nature. Such thoughts automatically tense the muscles. If he is consciously adding instructions to relax on top of this he worsens the situation, for the muscles cannot relax and contract at once.

When he says to himself “This arm or whatever is tight,” while he consciously tells it to relax, he is also confusing the muscles. Do you follow me?

His conscious mind, when he is not writing, should be anchored on something. There is too much unrecognized free brooding, when he sits doing nothing consciously, waiting perhaps for inspiration but not in a positive way. He will know to what periods I am referring, now that I have pointed it out. He should have a painting in progress as a hobby, or several for such times, or do household activities. His mind, his conscious mind, is the type that should be anchored in such a way, for it is overactive, otherwise, and when he is not at his best it will leap to brooding. He lets this go by.

Now. The Saratoga issue is clear. If you drive past his old house he should tell himself that he no longer needs it or what it stands for, that he can retain good memories of it. (Long pause.) It will be very easy for him to think of the town as the place where his grandfather lived, and this will bring about the beneficial aspects. It reassures him however to know that the town is still there, that he is free to go to the town and free to leave it. Symbolically this is important.

It is important to go so that he is free to leave. Do you follow me?

We will then close the session, and my best wishes to your fingers. The information should prove quite valuable. Ruburt did not feel he was mature enough to handle his abilities. Tell him that I am saying that he is. He can quite literally relax with them now and with himself. He can quite literally let down. And a hearty good evening.