“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The method, a job, now became unacceptable. But only the method. The signs were obvious. Whenever he fights what you want, or believe necessary, there is a very strong reason, and you had both better inquire into it, for he does not cross you lightly. And when he does, he does so in such a manner as to shield himself from the knowledge, you see.

For various reasons, the men in his family, his grandfather on his father’s side, whom he did not know, his maternal grandfather and his father, were highly independent, insisting upon working for themselves. Ruburt picked up this Indian trait from the maternal grandfather.

The need for money, and the fear of being dependent then, led him to seek money through a method which, once acceptable, was now highly and critically unacceptable for the reasons given.

He felt his own respect and yours, he must take a job, and a regular one— and for the reasons given this had highly unpleasant repercussions that led to symptoms of immobility. These symptoms further aggravated his fears of dependence, and in his worse moments he feared that he would become a cripple and you would leave him. This was when the mother identification was at its peak—now long past.

Even though he did not make the trip he came out on top. He was afraid to go in the last analysis, but he was not afraid to go for the old reasons.