“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The conflict has never been that he resented having to make extra money outside of writing. The conflict—when it was touched off you see by the need to make more money again—the conflict resulted from what would appear to be two methods of making money. One method he felt was highly favored by you, and by far it seemed the most dependable, and he chose it.

In the past, it had been at least acceptable to him, because he felt it a temporary means. His own overexpectations, or rather unrealistic expectations concerning his book, and the mistakes he felt were connected with it, sensitized him, until he felt that outside money would be a permanent part of his life.

All of these issues bear on Ruburt’s idea of a job. His money potential will be strengthened if these matters are highly considered. It is not a question of fearing to face reality financially. There is an effective and efficient way for him to do so, and he has been too frightened and panic-stricken to try it.

He was bothered particularly, you see, because his own mother’s position makes him terrified of being financially dependent, yet the way he chose to make, money at this particular point was precisely the wrong way for him at this time.

The need for money, and the fear of being dependent then, led him to seek money through a method which, once acceptable, was now highly and critically unacceptable for the reasons given.