“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The method, a job, now became unacceptable. But only the method. The signs were obvious. Whenever he fights what you want, or believe necessary, there is a very strong reason, and you had both better inquire into it, for he does not cross you lightly. And when he does, he does so in such a manner as to shield himself from the knowledge, you see.

The symptoms then began as he began to think in terms of job hunting. Your remarks concerning the benefits of a regular job would bring the symptoms to a pitch, and did so as recently as a week or so ago.

The nursery school was at the time the only move he felt really open to him. He was afraid he would not manage a steady income with the Avon, and already frightened of the mobility it demanded. Nursery school seemed to offer a compromise between your idea of a regular job, and his own dislike of one. He felt guilty at turning down the yoga classes, yet he felt that to match your performance he was expected to work five afternoons. His symptoms were aggravated again on the signing of the contract, and highly again when he refused the summer position.

His father, in his old age, did have a job for others, as did Joe in his late years. In both cases, the jobs were considered marks of degradation. From the Irish side, a woman who worked for others, you see, was a domestic. There was, in the family history, always a struggle to work for oneself, this being a matter of class pride and independence.

All of these issues bear on Ruburt’s idea of a job. His money potential will be strengthened if these matters are highly considered. It is not a question of fearing to face reality financially. There is an effective and efficient way for him to do so, and he has been too frightened and panic-stricken to try it.

He felt his own respect and yours, he must take a job, and a regular one— and for the reasons given this had highly unpleasant repercussions that led to symptoms of immobility. These symptoms further aggravated his fears of dependence, and in his worse moments he feared that he would become a cripple and you would leave him. This was when the mother identification was at its peak—now long past.

Had the same time and effort been given then to the kind of endeavors he is now planning, as was given to the selection of a job, there would have been no further difficulty.

Ruburt should expect to do well, and he shall. Patience and stubbornness can also be used here in this endeavor, as he used them to poor advantage to a job. Do you see my point here?

At the first sign of failure last autumn with the ESP column, he pulled out entirely, while he applied for job after job.

Considerable thought and contemplation should be used here, and as much energy devoted as would be given in the search for a job, for the potentials are far greater. Let Ruburt’s determination be applied here and it will meet with constructive benefits. It will solve a long-standing problem that otherwise will always be of some concern.