“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Jane had voiced these thoughts while getting supper this evening; it was the first time I had heard her speak this way. Perhaps my pendulum session recently helped her become aware of her own feelings in this way.

He, as I explained earlier, has a strong spontaneous self, which he had been taught to fear. It was because of distrust of this spontaneous self that he accepted your suggestions so readily and without argument. This did indeed result in further lack of mobility, with strong emotional blockages because of his feeling for you. This explains some of the difficulties incidentally in your intimate life together.

And Ruburt was frightened. He would have, I believe, otherwise gone to New York and charmed his way into at least more specific results.

(“Do you think it was wise for us to go to the chiropractor tonight?”)

Much of this because he projected this uncomfortable present into the future, you see. This was all he had to look forward to. That was his inner thought, and this was interpreted literally.

I will endeavor to do so, and believe I can to some extent. The adoption of the arthritis symptoms did have some mother identification, but also they were adopted simply because they were symptoms with which Ruburt was familiar. (Eyes open, emphatic.)

He is frightened because if this does not work he will have to face the other situation again. Your illness was a shock to him, and he has been afraid of doing anything that would make you feel insecure.

His mother was immobile, and yet as a child he had to rely on her. It is his fear that sensitized him again to old issues.

(9:40. Jane said that before the session she told Seth to blot her out, so that we would get undistorted material. She was aware of what she said as she said it. Resume in the same manner at 9:50.)

The dreams with the various apartments were a release, for here at least he could move in new situations, where he felt he was caught now in stationary ones.

(“Yes.” Today, also, Jane received a letter from her father, who lives in Florida. Enclosed was some belated birthday money.)

It was the only kind of job he could have taken and kept for any time, outside of the Avon job. If he can realize that working out may only be temporary, he could continue doing so with no difficulty.

The symptoms became aggravated again after he signed up for next year’s work schedule at nursery school. Consciously he was pleased. Unconsciously, this verified his fear, that next year also he would make no money writing. He was pleased with the raise on a conscious level, but felt it blood money.

(Jane’s signing a “contract” to work next winter was a point that completely escaped both of us when her symptoms became aggravated. I also missed it in my pendulum session. It is actually merely a piece of paper, and the agreement it contains can be terminated at any time by either Jane or her employer.

Give us time for a moment. (Pause.) If, and whenever possible, a New York trip would benefit both of you, incidentally. He has felt held in for some time. He was also frightened because of your illness, and literally afraid to make a move. He shut off usual methods of expression, trying to be a good example to others. But this fit in beautifully with earlier conditioning.

—and underline vitally. You did not like the radio station that he played, particularly because it was so unrestrained and noisy and blatant, and this he interpreted as a further restraint. He enjoyed Voice of the People simply because gripes were so emotionally and freely given.

(“I did, and do, consider it an excellent achievement, and always have. But I can see how he felt the way he did, in the light of my expressed opinions about Fell. Was it a poor idea of mine to insist that Jane finish the dream book before sending it out again?” [After it was twice rejected.])

Unfortunately it was, and yet he needed to do much work on it, and in the overall you will gain. Had it been accepted, sent out and accepted later, but before this present date, the symptoms would have vanished.