“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt’s statements a few moments earlier, regarding his feelings, concerning his future, were and are important. What he accepted as a temporary condition he fears to be a permanent one—that is, the temporary positions. He expected more. Unfortunately he then projected a present situation into the future, which to some extent, resulted in a lack of mobility; the present conditions then seen as continuing indefinitely.

He, as I explained earlier, has a strong spontaneous self, which he had been taught to fear. It was because of distrust of this spontaneous self that he accepted your suggestions so readily and without argument. This did indeed result in further lack of mobility, with strong emotional blockages because of his feeling for you. This explains some of the difficulties incidentally in your intimate life together.

And Ruburt was frightened. He would have, I believe, otherwise gone to New York and charmed his way into at least more specific results.

Much of this because he projected this uncomfortable present into the future, you see. This was all he had to look forward to. That was his inner thought, and this was interpreted literally.

The annoying or frightening symptoms began when Ruburt began his search for work, unknown to him consciously. His attitudes had by now changed. In the past he did think of work as temporary. Now it meant failure.

He felt particularly sensitive looking for a job precisely when his book had arrived in the bookstores. This seemed the one time when he should not have to look, you see.

The hand symptoms also have to do with a feeling that he has not come to grips with reality. He wants the chance to do so in his own way, although he realizes his way may not, you see, pan out financially. He wants to try.

His mother was immobile, and yet as a child he had to rely on her. It is his fear that sensitized him again to old issues.

If I speak slowly it is simply because I am casting about in his mind for what I can find of help.

You understand that because of both his father and his grandfather, particularly his grandfather, he grew up believing it a weakness to work for others, because of the immobility involved. His grandfather as a salesman walked about freely, and his grandfather feared working for others. This aside from the writing.

He has not so far. The chiropractic treatments should help in releasing the arms physically, and in keeping the structure in balance, since he has been unable to do so on his own. This should quiet nervous reactions, and give him time to recover.

The cod liver oil is now safe enough. In the past, however, it tended to aggravate his condition because the word arthritis alone carried such emotional force. This force has now become weaker.

The symptoms became aggravated again after he signed up for next year’s work schedule at nursery school. Consciously he was pleased. Unconsciously, this verified his fear, that next year also he would make no money writing. He was pleased with the raise on a conscious level, but felt it blood money.

—the very fact of seeking another solution will be of great benefit, in itself, and leaves open several possibilities. The job could be kept for a semester. It could be dropped entirely, or it could be kept while trying the experiment. The fact of trying the other experiment is really important in his present state of mind particularly. It offers him an alternative beside a regular outside job, to supplement the writing income.

He has a need for mobility. What you call a normal job is confining to him because of his background, and stops up energy.

The order to eat, he interprets as an order, you see. The encouragement to eat is different. Now wait. (Pause, eyes closed.) Again, fried foods should be avoided. He has been right, avoiding tomato juice in the morning, instinctively. He does not need that acidity then. It is aggravating to him. The apricot you see is soothing. He has avoided fresh salads however, and you both need them. Eggplant is good. Too much whole milk is bad. In his coffee is sufficient.

He has felt hampered down to the most minute circumstances of his daily life. Some of this, of course, projections. You hit upon several important items in your own pendulum sessions. Hearing them voiced helped Ruburt temporarily, and then the old fear clamped down.

It may be advantageous, though this is a small point, to change the living room furniture to a position that it has not been in since his illness, you see. The bed should definitely be north and south, now. That bathroom barrier should be pulled in half.

As a climate of permissiveness and encouragement is maintained, the symptoms will quickly vanish. You are not responsible for all of these restraints, you understand. He did not feel he had to run to move, because of the reasons given. In ordinary circumstances frequent small trips are of benefit in maintaining his overall health and efficiency level.

(“Yes, but now that he understands more, his fear should fade away.”)

One of the symptoms, you understand, is a fear of his own spontaneity.

(“Which symptom is related to a fear of his own spontaneity?”)