“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt’s statements a few moments earlier, regarding his feelings, concerning his future, were and are important. What he accepted as a temporary condition he fears to be a permanent one—that is, the temporary positions. He expected more. Unfortunately he then projected a present situation into the future, which to some extent, resulted in a lack of mobility; the present conditions then seen as continuing indefinitely.

He, as I explained earlier, has a strong spontaneous self, which he had been taught to fear. It was because of distrust of this spontaneous self that he accepted your suggestions so readily and without argument. This did indeed result in further lack of mobility, with strong emotional blockages because of his feeling for you. This explains some of the difficulties incidentally in your intimate life together.

There is no arthritis here. There is a severe panic reaction against restrictions, both from within and without, the immobility of fright. He who does not move can make no errors; and he felt he had made a severe error in allowing Fell to publish the book. Your own feelings toward Fell had strong emotional power.

And Ruburt was frightened. He would have, I believe, otherwise gone to New York and charmed his way into at least more specific results.

You understand I cannot tell you when, categorically, because of possibilities. If sufficient restrictions are lifted, so that Ruburt feels he has your blessing, and not just mute acceptance, for example, to try various possibilities; if you take a good vacation out of your immediate environment; if Ruburt feels he can foresee freedom to some extent of activity, in which to manipulate next year—

(“He can have all the freedom he wants.”)

—then you should see some fairly immediate improvement when he realizes these steps will be taken. He has frozen up out of fear. The actions that he has taken he has not approved of. Those he wanted to take seemed, for inner or outer reasons, forbidden, and in frustration he adopted the symptoms.

Much of this because he projected this uncomfortable present into the future, you see. This was all he had to look forward to. That was his inner thought, and this was interpreted literally.

(“From now one he can have all the freedom he wants.”)

You must understand that he will need your help now in order to use it. This is rather important. He will be afraid of making errors; and fears that you may blame him for them.

The annoying or frightening symptoms began when Ruburt began his search for work, unknown to him consciously. His attitudes had by now changed. In the past he did think of work as temporary. Now it meant failure.

He felt particularly sensitive looking for a job precisely when his book had arrived in the bookstores. This seemed the one time when he should not have to look, you see.

The hand symptoms also have to do with a feeling that he has not come to grips with reality. He wants the chance to do so in his own way, although he realizes his way may not, you see, pan out financially. He wants to try.

He is frightened because if this does not work he will have to face the other situation again. Your illness was a shock to him, and he has been afraid of doing anything that would make you feel insecure.

His mother was immobile, and yet as a child he had to rely on her. It is his fear that sensitized him again to old issues.

The dreams with the various apartments were a release, for here at least he could move in new situations, where he felt he was caught now in stationary ones.

(“Is he open to you now?”)

(“Do you think he’s blocking anything?”)

I do not believe he is blocking. There are still some closed doors, however.

You understand that because of both his father and his grandfather, particularly his grandfather, he grew up believing it a weakness to work for others, because of the immobility involved. His grandfather as a salesman walked about freely, and his grandfather feared working for others. This aside from the writing.

He did wait long before looking for work, and fought every step of the way, until he feared you would simply become furious. But he became more immobile, you see.

It was the only kind of job he could have taken and kept for any time, outside of the Avon job. If he can realize that working out may only be temporary, he could continue doing so with no difficulty.

(“Has he suffered any physical damage from the symptoms?”)

He has not so far. The chiropractic treatments should help in releasing the arms physically, and in keeping the structure in balance, since he has been unable to do so on his own. This should quiet nervous reactions, and give him time to recover.

The symptoms became aggravated again after he signed up for next year’s work schedule at nursery school. Consciously he was pleased. Unconsciously, this verified his fear, that next year also he would make no money writing. He was pleased with the raise on a conscious level, but felt it blood money.

(“Should he consider going back to nursery school next year?”)

If he is going to have an outside job it is as good as any, and after the summer should not bother him. It fills certain spontaneous needs. If however effort is to be made to find another solution—

He has a need for mobility. What you call a normal job is confining to him because of his background, and stops up energy.

Give us time for a moment. (Pause.) If, and whenever possible, a New York trip would benefit both of you, incidentally. He has felt held in for some time. He was also frightened because of your illness, and literally afraid to make a move. He shut off usual methods of expression, trying to be a good example to others. But this fit in beautifully with earlier conditioning.

Have him buy what he likes to eat, particularly for a while, for he will eat better then. Encourage this.

(“Is there anything he shouldn’t eat?”)

The order to eat, he interprets as an order, you see. The encouragement to eat is different. Now wait. (Pause, eyes closed.) Again, fried foods should be avoided. He has been right, avoiding tomato juice in the morning, instinctively. He does not need that acidity then. It is aggravating to him. The apricot you see is soothing. He has avoided fresh salads however, and you both need them. Eggplant is good. Too much whole milk is bad. In his coffee is sufficient.

He has felt hampered down to the most minute circumstances of his daily life. Some of this, of course, projections. You hit upon several important items in your own pendulum sessions. Hearing them voiced helped Ruburt temporarily, and then the old fear clamped down.

—and underline vitally. You did not like the radio station that he played, particularly because it was so unrestrained and noisy and blatant, and this he interpreted as a further restraint. He enjoyed Voice of the People simply because gripes were so emotionally and freely given.

As a climate of permissiveness and encouragement is maintained, the symptoms will quickly vanish. You are not responsible for all of these restraints, you understand. He did not feel he had to run to move, because of the reasons given. In ordinary circumstances frequent small trips are of benefit in maintaining his overall health and efficiency level.

In times of stress this is all the more important. He had no change of environment as a child, you see. The automobile to him means freedom, and is a symbol of release.

Summertime may or may not be a good time to begin private classes. He may be frightened to give up the job ahead of time. Any move in writing will serve him well.

(At break I asked that Seth say what he think of our recent idea that Jane show some book ideas to Don Wollheim, at Ace, as a means of mobility in her writing.)

He has been afraid to try anything new for fear of failure. Not through fear that a book would not be published necessarily, but through fear that the, publication would mean nothing. This is why the dream book is not finished.

Because of your attitude toward Fell, he did not believe you were pleased with him or the ESP book. He did not believe you considered it the achievement that he considered it. He expected you to throw a party for him.

(“I did, and do, consider it an excellent achievement, and always have. But I can see how he felt the way he did, in the light of my expressed opinions about Fell. Was it a poor idea of mine to insist that Jane finish the dream book before sending it out again?” [After it was twice rejected.])

Unfortunately it was, and yet he needed to do much work on it, and in the overall you will gain. Had it been accepted, sent out and accepted later, but before this present date, the symptoms would have vanished.

He is extremely strong, open, and giving and spontaneous when he is functioning well. Any strong impediments cause him to retreat however, though for a while a smiling surface personality hides this fact.

Do you have questions? The symptoms will vanish as quickly as he feels restraints lifted. But he will need your encouragement, for he is himself afraid of lifting them, you see.

(“Yes, but now that he understands more, his fear should fade away.”)

And therefore a fear or distrust of what may be said in these sessions. It is for this reason that I have given him evidential material, you see, in other respects, so that he could see for himself.

This has been rather explained earlier this evening, and in previous sessions: Previous conditioning, and we explained why he became sensitized to this. The fear of spontaneity is what made him so passive in following suggestions of yours, to which he did not agree.