“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

These are all practical aspects concerning the construction of inner data into physical matter, and no more practical information could be given to you. I would suggest, Joseph, that you received the early idea that a true artist could not be wealthy. You knew subconsciously that you were an artist. The moment that you consciously realized you were an artist, you ceased the attempt to make good money, fearing it would rob you of your ability.

As long as you believe this so will your expectations of reality become, in truth, reality. It goes without saying that if all of your energy goes into money making little will be left for painting, but this is a long stretch between this equation and the one that says that an artist must be poor.

I would suggest also, if you will forgive me perhaps, a completely natural fear of incestuous relationship with your mother. Nothing would please her more than money, and you fear that if you made more money than your father, he would feel that you were doing this purposely, to take her away.

Your talent is indeed excellent, and of the highest quality. Many artists have produced and received profit for their productions. There is certain work that you could do that could be compared to Ruburt’s science fiction; that is, commercial in that it brings in money, and yet expresses an intuitive and creative part of the personality and is not, as you say, hack work.

In your field of art you could do better now than he is in science fiction, since you are more sure of how you get your effects, and he is still not. Your fear of freelance work is mainly, but not entirely, caused by your distortive expectation. On the one hand you fear making too much money, while consciously you fear not making enough, for the energy expanded; and I do mean expanded, rather than extended.

This expectation of yours, this fear of making money, is a strong element in your psychological makeup, and beside the reasons already given, there is a subconscious need to punish your mother. You realize that she pushed your father to make money, and no one, including yourself, will ever be allowed to do the same to you. So goes the inner reasoning.

You are bending over backward not to make money, both of you, though this is somewhat more understandable on Ruburt’s part, at least since his training is not as specific. When either of you demand or request more money, you feel like thieves. Ruburt has yet to manage his abilities competently but you have except for this distortive expectation which colors your constructions.

It did not you see before you realized that you were basically an artist, because then the two elements of talent and money were not in contact. You could have made a much less painful transition between complete commercialism and painting than you did, but here at a crucial moment was starry-eyed Ruburt, with his ideas of the poverty-stricken artist; and you can carry on from there.

Now, Ruburt also has his fear of money. He fears that it will be taken away, and therefore is afraid of having it to begin with. This is a highly ridiculous notion, caused by an infantile interpretation of events in his grandfather’s life, and also by the fear that his mother would steal him blind of anything that he possesses.

It is not a case of coldly going after money, but rather a case of naturally expecting that ability will bring its natural physical constructions, in terms of physical satisfaction.