“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

[...] She was walking normally. While we were in a local bar, two youths stole the car, which was parked nearby, and went for a joyride. [...] I also found a young man in the bar who knew the two who had taken the car, but he was afraid to tell me who they were. [...] I was very angry about the whole thing and vowed to find out who had taken it. [...]

[...] Temperature 99.1. Jane said that was the highest it’s been since it started going down in recent days. She was getting a bit chilly. I suggested she have a session if she was going to, then I could have staff call a maintenance man about the heat. Jane was still coughing and blowing at times. [...]

[...] After I’d finished the session, especially the last portion and my notes about my own reactions, which upset Jane, she told me that yesterday she’d actually been very blue the last hour I was there. She’d also been very afraid that the coughing up of mucous meant she was getting pneumonia — something she hadn’t told me. [...]

(4.28 p.m. I told Jane that Seth’s analysis of the car dream was excellent. [...] The problem still wasn’t solved as I read the session to Jane after supper, nor was it solved by the time I left at 7:10.

There was not to be any argument given. Obedience was man’s largest responsibility to the Godhead of the Old Testament. [...]

Now Ruburt’s paper was largely correct, in that Christianity in general, and the Catholic Church in particular, has not only frowned on revelation, but in the past tried with the utmost effort to strike it down. This was largely out of self-interest, and the many Protestant faiths are a proof of the fragmentation that results when man is given some freedom to interpret his relationship with God himself.

[...] Men often took him literally, but his message was that the spirit of God was within each person—in terms of the symbolism, each person being a child of the father who dwelled in heaven. [...]

[...] If he told you to slay your son upon a mountaintop, then it was up to you to obey, and to your son to acquiesce. [...]

(I was eating breakfast at 7:50 when I received a call from the hospital. [...] Jan was to tell Jane at once if I’d see her. [...] I didn’t think it was a life-or-death crisis, but the result of our conversations lately, and the sessions, the panic attacks, and so forth. It was raining heavily when I left the house.

(Jane was uncomfortable, up to her shoulders on two full chucks, propped and wedged so she couldn’t move. [...] Actually, I felt her upset was another good sign.

(When I asked her if she wanted to have a session, she said in surprise that she had no idea for one, and was hardly ready or in the mood. [...] She was obviously getting restless and had been on her back long enough. [...]

[...] It was the same feeling I’d had staring at my parents in their respective caskets. [...] I told John I expected to attend the service tomorrow at the funeral home, that I was willing to be an honorary pallbearer, providing the times worked out. [...]

This immobilization was in itself a lesson, and he has learned it. [...] The immobile foot was a direct translation of the following: “I am exhausted and I will go no further at this point.” The exhaustion was a natural result of his own reactions. [...]

Ruburt’s ankle was sprained originally in your home. [...] It was mending nicely until the evening at your dancing establishment, when it was again bruised. [...]

[...] The hip was simply a panic reaction. It was also the result of negative suggestion given by your chiropractor. [...]

It was your reactions that should have been changed, as it was Ruburt’s reactions concerning his book that should have been changed. [...]

[...] The exception was the youngish doctor Jane had referred to at the very end of her last session. As it happened, he was the one who’d had her admitted to the hospital to begin with. [...] But he was a neurologist, and we saw less and less of him as it was determined that his special skills wouldn’t be of continuing help in Jane’s situation. [...]

[...] True, the amount of money required for such surgical possibilities was staggering, but insurance of one kind or another could be found to carry the cost. (We didn’t have nearly enough money, but could qualify for adequate insurance by fulfilling the terms of an 11-month waiting period.) But regardless of cost, one orthopedist saw me staying right in the hospital—now that I was there—until the entire procedure was finished. [...]

Actually, I came to realize, Jane was so terrified by the thought of those operations that mentally she shunted aside all such prospects. Only when she was home did she begin to fathom the possible depths of the physical reality she’d created for herself, with my help. To coin a phrase, she was “truly, deeply shocked.” [...]

[...] When they spoke to Rob and me I tried to listen, but my hearing was still so poor that it was nearly impossible to make out one full sentence at a time. [...]

(I was shocked—because I discovered a vast amount of tension in her left leg. So much so that it was jammed against her broken right leg, and I had difficulty getting the pillow between her knees before turning her. Her whole leg was tense; I could feel the tension in all the tendons and muscles. I was amazed at the tension in the leg. I couldn’t understand how she could stand that situation, evidently day after day, and not realize what she was doing, what was happening. [...]

(Since supper was late in coming, we didn’t get through until 7:30. I was starting to get my stuff together when Jane asked me to get the Seth notebook out again. When Seth came through her voice was a bit hoarse, but with good subdued power. [...]

(The supper tray was late. [...] I told her I was “upset” at the tension in the leg, and wanted to see it dissipate. [...]

[...] Jane was making noises of pain and discomfort, though after a while she stopped this while she ate. [...]

(The 45th envelope experiment was held during the session. [...] The tracing is drawn with the same blue pen, my own, that was used to write on the object. The object came into being when Doug, who is 14 years old, was showing me how he writes left-handed. We sat on the couch and used a folded newspaper for a support; this was not steady. I did not intend to use this object for the envelope experiment, but decided to on the spur of the moment after it was made. [...]

(She had seen the envelope from which the flap was torn however, in a casual way. [...] Both Jane and I read the letter yesterday; it was written to my parents. [...]

(After several sessions involving various kinds of personal material we hoped to get back to the theoretical kind. The session was held in our living room as usual. [...] She was not smoking.)

[...] Jane was more dissociated than she had been for her first delivery. [...] She spoke with many gestures and her voice was a bit stronger.

(The session was held in the front room. [...] Her voice was average and she used many short pauses; between the pauses, oddly enough, her delivery was rather fast.)

[...] At the time this was given it left me in the dark. Jane was quite definite about it however, even spelling it out. In view of the following data we do not think it was meant to apply to Linda.

(The 47th envelope experiment was held during the session, as noted by the tracing on page 91. The object was a faded maple leaf that Jane and I had picked up, along with others, on a walk last year, probably in October 1965. [...]

[...] My thought was that the bulk of the material he gives had more appeal emotionally for him than the object itself, and he confirmed this after break. Still, the turn the data took was unexpected.

(His head was bare and his hair blowing in a wind. The portrait was life-size, from the knees up, very dramatic and bold in concept and detail, and very effective pictorially. I was delighted to see it, and was at once sure I was capable of producing such a work. [...]

(Looking up the address of this publisher, she was further surprised to learn that it was at 386 Park Avenue South, New York City—the same address as Frederick Fell, the publisher of her ESP book. [...]

[...] Jane said she was pretty far-out during the session, and that Seth was “on a kick” about the data concerning painting. [...]

(The vision was very clear, lasted for a long enough period to observe easily, and gave me strong thrilling sensations. [...]

[...] I was still uncomfortable at session time, still wondering whether my feelings were physical or emotionally based, though somewhat better too. At nap time I’d had a very vivid dream in which I was driving a new blue pickup truck down a hill. [...] No one else was involved in the accident, though, and the truck did stay on the road. As it happened I woke up with a start, feeling at first what I thought was a spasm in my chest, but quickly realized it was a part of my dream reaction. [...] Strangely, the spasm episode in the dream involved the color effects I knew I’d get when I glazed the painting: I was vividly aware of the texture of the underpainting as the green color was altered into flesh color by the overlay of warm flesh colors in oil.

[...] As I finished the job I felt the onset of another “attack” of chest discomfort; it lasted throughout the afternoon, and was most uncomfortable. [...] I was very upset and angry with myself. The pendulum told me my situation was related to the fact that I stopped painting early, the windows, my worries about Jane, my age—the whole bit, in other words, so that I ended up thinking I’d accomplished precious little over the years. Certainly my learning was deficient, I thought. [...]

With that in mind, Leonard’s problem upset you not only because he was and is a friend. [...] The connection between Leonard working at the school, and Loren—all that was in the background. [...]

[...] I was still upset with myself, however. [...] I’d thought I was doing fairly well there, but evidently Leonard represents a host of old fears that rose up en masse when triggered, and caught me unprepared. [...]

[...] One of them was a large, vividly colored parrot that I managed to hang from the wooden frame of the bulletin board at the foot of Jane’s bed, so she could see it. [...] In fact, Jane said, it was a more valid and true statement of reality than the other gift from Sue—After Man, by Dougal Dixon. [...] Regardless of that, I eventually decided that I was glad to receive the gift, no matter what Sue does or doesn’t know about evolution. It was a beautiful compendium of all of the fallacies and distortions and wishing-thinkings concerning the scientific view of evolution.

(Today when I called his office, I found out that Andrew Fife was on vacation until January 3, so I’ll see him then. [...] I’d quoted the stock line of refusal on each of the four claims to her, so that she knew what I was talking about. [...]

[...] She was really pleased at the accomplishment; I was too. [...]

(No session was held yesterday, Monday, but here is a summary of the day’s events, for December 26. [...]

([Bette:] “Yes, but I think I was set up for that. After I said that this one [Mary Ellen] told me something that she has been thinking all week and all I did was mouth her words for her again.”)

I was at the center of the campfire and Ruburt was there in another guise. [...]

([Bette:] “Was she the waitress that was waiting on us at the table that I saw what you did the other night?”)

She was the waitress and it was not a dumpy bar. [...]

(I fed the cats and shaved, and arrived at 330 before 7:00 a.m. Jane was very sore. [...] I saw that the swollen bubble of fluid on her left shoulder blade was way up — this was causing much of her discomfort. [...] She made a note on a chart and left, very pleasant — but no action was taken during the day. [...]

[...] Jane was telling me that an aide who took care of her this morning, and who is living apart from her husband and has three kids, looked at a second-hand washing machine this noon but couldn’t afford the $130 cost. [...]

[...] It was decided I’d give her the cash tomorrow, rather than have her or the store send me the bill. [...]

[...] Helping another in this fashion was a breakthrough for us. [...]

[...] Dr. G looked at it, remarked that she had a large ulcer on the knee, and quickly left with Mary before Jane was quick enough to ask him what he was talking to the nurse about. Jane immediately feared the worst: that Dr. G was going to want to operate upon, or lance, the knee, or something like that.

[...] She said she was also able to do so this morning. I said that the fact that she was keeping her gains of each day was the important thing. [...]

[...] In color: I’d looked out the south window of the bedroom to see Fred Kardon standing out on the lawn; he was talking to someone else who was doing some kind of work near the big pine tree that grows up over the corner of the house. [...]

[...] “And just when I was doing so well last night and today,” she said, as I made ready to turn her on her back. [...]

(The 63rd envelope experiment was held during the session. The object was two sections of a red ribbon taped to a piece of heavy Bristol board. [...] As it developed Jane was somewhat hard- pressed to identify the ribbon, did so eventually, and with Seth’s verification. [...]

(Jane located the inside box in which the sweater was packed, and remembered this box being inside another. The ribbon from which the object was taken was around the outside box, she felt; she also remembered a note with the sweater, but we could not locate it. [...]

[...] We believe she was on the right track in spite of her semantic difficulty, however, with the roads data and the white markings, areas between, etc. Jane’s personal idea was that Seth used parallelogram to lead up to the rest of the data here. [...]

[...] Again the use of free association… “This was to lead us to the word note.” [...] Jane believes the note was actually written on the back of a birthday card. [...]

[...] The initial relationship began some time ago, of course, and in a fashion had its own background as far as Ruburt was concerned. When he wrote short stories, for example, he was forced to search for a publisher for each one—a magazine. [...] He sold most of his stories to Fantasy & Science Fiction Magazine when Boucher was the editor. [...]

(Long pause at 9:07.) In many ways Tam and Ruburt got along quite well, even though Tam was a good deal younger, where before Ruburt’s editors had been people a good deal older than he. When the book was done Ruburt began another, along with several different attempts. Dreams, Astral Projection and ESP, I believe was to be the title. [...]

Now overall he wanted an attractive package, of course, yet to him the book was in the copy mainly. [...] He felt loyalty to Tam, who he felt was loyal to him. At the same time he did not idealize Tam, and was well aware of some of his natural failings.

(I’ve reread the last session to Jane from my notes each morning since it was held. The question I asked at its end—about what effects my opinions of Prentice-Hall might have had on Jane over the years—has been on my mind ever since I asked it, and Seth replied that it was “too big a subject” to go into at once. [...]

[...] Her voice was quite a bit deeper also, but not loud; and it was very slow and with many pauses.)

I am fairly certain that I achieved excellent emotional contact with the students I addressed; for the projection was not only of Ruburt’s perceptive mechanisms, there was a strong psychic projection on my part.

The projection was indeed informative, since Ruburt’s physical body was able to speak clearly and concisely while the consciousness traveled elsewhere.

(This session was also a short one, primarily because Jane still had her cold. [...]

[...] He felt the impulse to paint, and did so, but by late afternoon he was in a very poor mood. He had the sense to write his notes, however, so the issue was not buried. It was a creative conflict.

[...] The impulse was strong. His bodily impulse to move and to go to the bathroom was even stronger. [...]

[...] His mood was so bad because he felt that he could not win no matter what he did. [...] The “error” was simply a result of a series of such denied impulses, that he then let loose at once. [...]

[...] Half humorously:) Before my comments for Ruburt: I thought that my risqué remark about “no holds barred” was quite in keeping with the content of the material, (on human sexuality). [...]

[...] Our cousin of Richelieu over here, however, did, and the message was repeated the following evening with a noted lack of success as far as memory was concerned. [...]

([Joel:] “I was thinking about this acceleration. Today I went out in the back where we have the tent for Peter, and I was lying down and thinking and I started to hear this beepbeep-beep kind of sound and looked, and it wasn’t coming from anything around. [...]

What you were doing was making the previous personality very happy. Your daydream was not only your daydream but his. [...]

(To Arnold.) And my congratulations here to our African God for the dream which was indeed quite significant. [...]

[...] While on a walk to a neighborhood store she was given a ride by our family doctor. Sam Levine told her the nodule was harmless, the result of an injury, and called it a ganglion. He told her to leave it alone, saying it was protective and would probably disappear by itself. [...] Needless to say, Jane was pleased that Seth was verified.

[...] Jane was quite well dissociated, she said. [...] She said she felt as though she was listening to someone else speak, but could not retain what she heard, nor did she know what was coming next.

[...] Jane was dissociated as usual. Again she put her glasses on during break, only to remove them as soon as break was over. [...]

There was no distortion but some confusion as far as the childbirth and water bag episode was concerned. [...]