“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Saturday was May 23. All was quiet as far as Miss Callahan’s apartment was concerned. [...] But it was obvious her memory was faulty.

The Miss Callahan mentioned in connection with the 23rd was the first mentioned of that date, as Ruburt somewhat belatedly realized today. The restlessness which was apparent in Miss Callahan’s behavior when Ruburt saw her, was but a small tangible evidence of the inner crisis. The crisis itself was a psychic one mainly, which will of course have physical consequences. Miss Callahan was forced to realize that even her home surroundings were no longer familiar, nor is she easy within their confines.

It was a moment of momentary (underlined) terror, as the ego realized that what it fought against and what it would continue, though ineffectually, to fight against, was indeed no enemy to it but a most familiar omnipresent inner self, against which it was now powerless. The ego returned but this was the first instant where it actually came face to face with its counterpart in essence and in fact.

[...] Jane was pretty well dissociated for a first delivery. [...] agreeing that such an interpretation was possible, on my own I made no such connection, and thought that drawing such conclusions from the written word was stretching things a bit. I did believe that there was an explanation possible other than distortion however.

(The session was held in our back room and was a quiet one. [...] She was smoking as she began speaking, at a slow pace which grew faster as the delivery progressed.)

The volume in Ruburt’s case was caused by proximity, among other things, and if I set up a small sound very close to him, so that it has an explosive and loud effect; but it was directed in such a manner that it was in a large measure closed off. [...]

(This occasion was June 17,1964, was a psy-time experience of Jane’s, and also involved her receipt of information about John Bradley. [...]

(Note also that Jane had this experience during what she first thought was a dream on October 15,1965. [...] Seth at the time told us the first “dream” was not a dream.)

He was a far more gentle man, and yet in his own way as fanatical as any of the other main characters of that day. He was much more against what he was against, than for what he was for. Christ, you see, was to deliver the message and John was to prepare the way for it.

Now, number one is an attempt to get at number two, which was simply a sign of a copy made, a distorted or doctored copy. The middle one, (three), was a mark made for a much less distorted copy, and the last mark, (five), was for an undoctored record.

(9:46.) There was some jealousy, then, from certain members of the Essenes at John’s progress. [...] Fire is seldom gentle, and John the Baptist was as filled with fire as Paul.

[...] Religion was politics. [...] It was the business of the rulers to know in which direction the religious winds blew. [...]

(It was 10:11 PM. [...] Actually her pause was quite brief. Her head was down, a hand to her face. [...] I had the impression that she was being careful in what she said, but not that she was particularly nervous.)

Ruburt, or Jane Butts , in this case was the emotional connection. The test itself involved however a particular photograph that was of Jane Butts at York Beach, and in which the Instreams did not appear. I was not able to make the distinction clear to Ruburt, for it was definitely not a photograph of the Instreams.

[...] The loud, brittle sound was clearly audible through the closed door. [...] Our first impulse was not to acknowledge the sound, but since it was unusual we did so. [...]

[...] For our part we want to know whether Dr. Instream understands that he was in York Beach on the same night a photo of York Beach was used in a session, or whether he remembers reading about York Beach in previous sessions.

The following morning his condition was worse than it was during your entire vacation. [...] I was having a heart-to-heart talk with him. I have had others, but this was the first time he barely remembered.

The initial poor reaction the morning following our little chat was simply the result of a temporary fear of letting go. It was of short duration, however. Ruburt did experience a sense of freedom in your hiking activities as a result, that was highly beneficial; and such activities are good for they increase his confidence. Of course, it was more difficult going down the hills—the significance of letting go is more apparent.

[...] I was sure of the color but was not positive as to whether you were using it too heavily or not heavily enough. It was simply meant as friendly advice. [...]

(This effect appeared shortly before vacation, on an experimental head in oil I was working on. Brown was one of the colors used, and could have contributed to the undesirable purplish undertone in the flesh. The effect cropped up before I was aware of it. [...]

[...] The scene was at a neighbor’s down the street we lived on—not Pinnacle Road—where there was a party going on. Bob McClure, who is dead, was there. I was telling everybody that Jane had just spontaneously recovered her health and the ability of walking: I could see dimples in her knees as she moved about. She was telling people—many of them strangers—about all of it too. I knew this was an excellent dream. [...]

[...] I gave her the hair barrettes, combs and other accoutrements, which I was pleased to see she liked, and she gave me a vest which Debbie had picked up for her, and an umbrella which Margaret Bumbalo had picked up for her. Unfortunately, the vest was too tight to button, and the umbrella couldn’t be properly folded up, once opened, for storage; I finally figured why after fussing with it for half an hour, and after a bit of a struggle I got it collapsed and tied so it couldn’t open up. Jane was irritated by then, and I’d almost forgotten how I’d laughed when I first opened up the package. [...]

(The night had been very cold, and the temperature still was only 12 degrees above when I got to 330 this afternoon. Jane was okay. [...]

(No session was held yesterday, Friday, December 23, but here is a summary of the day’s events. [...]

(Notes: Last night, Sunday, March 16, a rather long session was held for Dr. Subadh Roy, who is a professor of philosophy and comparative religion at Mansfield State Teacher’s College [PA]. Dr. Roy, who is blind, was driven to Elmira by his friend and student, Mike. [...]

[...] He knew he was free to take time off at any time, but he was afraid that if he did so he might be deprived of the sessions entirely, and such is not the case.

[...] In his last trial he faced and is conquering many important issues, and it was better in the long run that they be fought and won during one period rather than stretched out. [...] The learning process was far more effective in this manner—the symptoms serving as immediate checkpoints. [...]

[...] On the other hand the moving of the bookcase to divide the work area showed even before his novel idea that his spontaneity was emerging fully within his work again, and that the work area was therefore to be separated from social activities.

(I explained to Jane now about her error re what day it was. Since this was Monday, and any possible event was predicted for a Tuesday, Jane decided to try again to reach the Gallaghers. [...]

[...] There was no answer nor was there any answer when she called again shortly before 9 PM.

(Since session time was near, Jane asked aloud that Seth interpret the subjective data she had been receiving. She wanted a clear and concise interpretation devoid of emotion, feeling there was little use in acting whatever the impressions said; she thought more objective data could be obtained through Seth. [...]

(Peggy told Jane that Gardner Road was in Horseheads, and that she would check the address there that Jane had given in trance. [...] Jane was much relieved after talking to Peg, saying that before the call she had been “very uptight” over any probabilities involving accidents and the Gallaghers.

[...] Your desire to be in contact with him was greater than your fear. What happened was that the communications were forced to take another route. [...] Now that chest discomfort immediately reminded you of your friend, and was meant, again, to tell you that he was in some difficulty. By the time we had our session last night, the difficulty was largely over. [...]

[...] There was a very light dusting of snow, typical of our winter this year. [...] The first several deer, crossing the street perhaps fifty feet ahead of me, surprised me so that I stopped in my tracks, unbelieving, seeking to understand what I was seeing. I think that most, if not all of the houses on Crestwood had lights on, so the neighborhood was hardly deserted. [...]

(Jane called Leonard Yaudes this morning while I was painting [I thought she was talking to Peg G.], and said later that she was picking up from Seth a good deal of excellent material on the body consciousness, our social mores re illness, and my own recent panicky hassles after Leonard’s operation a couple of weeks ago. [...]

[...] Leonard is doing well, and it was indeed his own exaggerated fears about his condition that led to the rather frenzied message to begin with. Therefore, in a way, your body was subjected to stress that it did not need, as the message was translated into physical terms of discomfort. [...]

(While I was on the phone an attendant brought us a letter from Sue Watkins. [...] I was momentarily confused — for my art teacher in high school in Sayre, Pennsylvania had been Helen Bowman, until she married later in life and became Helen Bowman Park. [...] Money was involved with both people, since my Miss Bowman had lent me the money to go through art school in New York City. [...]

[...] The day was cold — about 22 — when I left for 330 at 12:30. [...] It was someone called Danny Olson, from a small town in Missouri. [...]

(Today he told me that he’d found out Jane was in a hospital from someone he writes to in one of the Carolinas, so he called our area hospitals until he learned which one Jane was in. [...]

(At about 8:30 last night, Jane said she’d had a very vivid “experience that was pretty real,” in which for a few seconds she found herself cavorting in very clear and shallow water, feeling really free and enjoying herself greatly. [...] She went to hydro around 10:00 a.m. and was back by 11:00 for a change.

[...] It was raining heavily, but warm—about 35—and I got my feet wet because I’d left my rubbers in 330. [...] Jane was ready to be turned at once: She was uncomfortable with a folded pillow placed under her right foot, so that it raised her foot up too high and placed a strain on her right knee as she lay on her side. [...] Jane said the act was done before she realized it, and they were gone. [...]

(I was thinking that Seth was on his way to saying that part of Jane’s own trouble was her conscious struggle to go her own way with her unusual abilities, in spite of her early conditioning—religious and otherwise. [...]

[...] It was time for me to turn her on her left side. [...] I was very pleased to see her “branching out,” so to speak, with the session material, even though it still was applied to her for the most part. [...]

[...] An hour later I called Andrew Fife in billing; he was out for 15 minutes, and would call back, a girl said. [...] When Andrew called I went to see him, showing him the two latest communications from Blue Cross, with the new claim numbers for Jane’s account; he copied them, and reiterated that the company was stalling: “It helps their cash flow, but it doesn’t do anything for ours.” [...]

(By now Jane’s voice was even lower and stronger than it had been a minute ago. Already the change was more drastic than it had been for many sessions. Her voice did not boom out, and was still recognizable as her own;yet the change was great, and I wondered if it might be even more dramatic. [...]

(At our request Jane remained standing where she was; she said that she “tingled” as she stood in the proper spot. She was not frightened, although uneasy when Bill and I first told her of what we saw. There was no doubt of what we did see. The effect lasted for perhaps a minute or two, the room was sufficiently well lighted [although not blazing with light; during her deliveries Jane usually has one 60W light on, but at break we turn more lights on; and if this bothers Jane while talking she automatically snaps them off as she paces about.] and Bill and I had plenty of chance to make sure of what we were looking at.

[...] I remember finding the door, which was very heavy and thick, slightly ajar. This was accounted for to our satisfaction at the time of our second visit; trying to shoot the bolt from inside the porch, Jane and I found we had to exert considerable pressure against the door in order to line the bolt up with the door frame; and once shut the door was exceedingly sturdy. If Jane and I used psychic strength to open this door, it can be safely stated that the force required and exerted was considerable.)

(My hand was somewhat tired from writing, but not in bad shape. Jane, Bill and I discussed an experiment the three of us could try while Bill was on his trip. He planned to go to Cape Cod; as soon as he was settled for his projected stay of several weeks, Bill was to write us. [...]

[...] As it developed, she will be copying Part One of this session to send to Dr. Instream also, for even though the session was unscheduled an envelope test developed. [...] The whole test was very interesting; and all the more so because it was Jane’s first before witnesses.

Once again there was some confusion of channels... as there was in our first test when we were alone... [...] And it was a barrier to him. [...]

[...] It was he and his wife who were referred to here in the unpleasant episode. This was associated with the test because the session for which you prepared the test was not held because of their visit.

[...] The road was a distortion, but only superficially, for it was meant as a symbol to describe the man involved, and I could not get Ruburt to say salesman. It was a misunderstanding actually, rather than a distortion.

(The day was very rainy, foggy, temperature 45 degrees. [...] In hydro, the therapist, Wendy, who checks both Jane and her chart weekly, told her that she was doing well, that the knee was coming along great. Terry, who puts Jane through the hydro bath, told her she looks well and was easier to move. [...]

[...] I was very pleased, and so was she. She said she still wasn’t up to normal speed—maybe 80%—but I certainly thought she was doing a lot better than that. [...]

[...] Involved also was a puppy and other elements. I thought the dream very positive, and showed that Jane was shedding old beliefs and starting anew with new ones. [...]

Ruburt was correct. [...] The woman represents Ruburt’s old beliefs, the woman that he was, so to speak. [...]

“Hello,” I said when he came to the phone, and his voice was dull and flat, full of self pity; he was sure I wouldn’t see him. [...] I said some usual polite things in a usual polite voice and that was that. [...] This one was at Rob’s suggestion.

These particular events began Friday though now Monday afternoon I’ve nearly forgotten what Friday was really like. [...] He told me that Prentice had called about a radio-phone show and that I was to return the call. I was aware of some dismay. [...]

[...] Peg G. from the Star Gazette called; there was a fan from South Africa, just in town from NYC to see me. He was right there waiting, would I talk to him at least—on the phone? [...]

Peg told me he was in his forties; he told her he’d written me but probably left before I could answer the letter. I felt defensive and guilty; he was trying emotional blackmail, and I didn’t want to see him. [...]

[...] The first was a comparatively minor dream that was surprising to me when it happened, but it could easily have been forgotten. The second was an amazing experience resulting from a dream that I could not remember. The third was a dream that gave me a startling glimpse into another kind of reality.

[...] She was fiercely independent, tall and slim, with neatly coiffeured hair and tailored clothes. Her English was flawless. She had an excellent reputation as a teacher, and now and then she was visited by former students to whom she served tea. During the holidays, her mailbox was stuffed with cards.

[...] She was crying, saying over and over, ‘Oh dear, I have to go away, and I don’t want to go.’ There was a glassed-in area to the left in the hospital lobby, where you could buy gifts for the patients. It was all so real.”

[...] The next instant, my consciousness rushed out of my body, yet it was itself bodiless, taking up no space at all; it seemed to be merging with the air outside the window, plunging through the treetops, resting, curled within a single leaf. Exultation and comprehension, new ideas, sensations, novel groupings of images and words rushed through me so quickly there was no time to call out. There was no present, past or future: I knew this, suddenly, irrevocably.

(Then the central part of my body felt depressed down to bed level; I had the odd thought that I was more aware of the bed beneath my middle body than I was of the body itself. It was almost as though that part of the body wasn’t there. [...] This feeling was also definite, with duration.

[...] Jane was well dissociated for a first delivery, she said. She was as surprised as I was at the short session and the extra time off. [...]

(December 9, Wednesday, 8:30 PM: This was a very interesting session. [...] The sensation was quick but quite definite. It was followed by more, lesser feelings of movement. [...]

[...] The room was quite dark, very nearly pitch black. [...] It was a half arc with one crossed line diagonally, almost like an inverted cent sign. Seth stated that this small symbol, with some initials, was on a rowboat at Provincetown, MA, and that Bill Macdonnel should have seen it while he spent some weeks there. [...]

(4:45.) In other words, Ruburt was given strong creative abilities that he was determined to express — but at the same time early in his life he was given the idea that it was highly dangerous to express the very uniqueness that was inherent in his creativity. [...]

(When Jane spoke for Seth her voice was rather quiet, since it was still sort of raspy from yesterday’s laryngitis, or whatever she’d had. She thought the loss of voice volume was due to free-association material. [...] The day was alternately bright and sunny, and very gloomy and cloudy.)

[...] She was on morphine and had hallucinations, too. [...] She really did dislike women when she was younger. [...] Also thought women disliked her — feared that she was after their men, and all kinds of things.

[...] It also showed me that even Jane’s poetry was suspect, where I’d been under the impression that the poetry was the one aspect of her creative abilities that was essentially free, or uncontaminated by fears or doubts. [...]

[...] In past lives he was never temperate, neither in a physical sense, emotionally or intellectually. This was not in many ways bad. [...] He was always very generous for example and kind, even overly kind. [...] He was just overeager as a rule.

His temper when aroused was very great however and he retaliated instantly. [...] The personality of Ruburt’s mother was not close to him in any other life. The circumstances of birth were chosen at the last minute on his part and was made for two reasons.

One, the personality of the mother offered needed experience for Ruburt; and two, the paganistic personality of the father was in some degree like his own past personalities though in a much more vague and watered-down way. [...] He was at one time a brother. [...] He was often tall, hardy and stout.

Incidentally Ruburt always felt a strong bond with every living thing, and even as a man was not cruel. He was only a Christian once, the last time, and otherwise was paganistic but always in ways that enabled him to feel close to the earth. [...]

[...] On one level this knowledge was available to the man himself. [...] It was a vivid possibility. It was also one of many solutions to several problems. While it was not the most suitable solution, it was the closest man could come at that particular time in physical reality.

(The 49th envelope experiment was held during the session. The object was a sheet of yellow paper upon which our young friend Don Wilbur doodled various numbers and words on the evening of Friday, April 15. [...] It was produced on the evening of the unscheduled 251st session. [...]

[...] Don Wilbur was faced with such an event on April 15. He was changing jobs, and had to tell his employer that he was quitting. [...]

[...] The whole sheet was used and was folded in quarters.