“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

[...] I saw a devil image walking away from me in one direction, and on the other side of me an angel image, walking away; and I knew I had both these images of myself. Then they walked into each other and blended, standing in front of me,” she said, “and while I didn’t see this as clearly, it’s what I am.”

(To recap: after supper tonight Jane told me she felt “warm.” [...] Jane told me later that after I left she began to get very strong feelings that the phone was going to ring, with some exceptionally good news for us. [...]

[...] When it did ring a few minutes later she called to me to answer it. [...]

[...] She sat leaning back in her rocker, very relaxed, eyes closed; at last she told me she got a whole lot of stuff that time.

Dreams can not only eliminate symptoms (as in Sue’s case) or completely alter moods (as in my dream) but they can give us warning of incipient health difficulties — as happened to me several years ago. [...] The dream frightened me so much that as I awakened, I caught myself saying, “That dream scares me. [...] This alone told me that it must be important, so I forced myself to write it down at once. [...]

[...] The people saw me, recognized me at once and welcomed me with great joy.

[...] My friends thought it would be great fun and offered to go with me. A sense of adventure filled me. [...]

[...] At the same time, it occured to me that I had lain down at 10:30, and, surely, it was past the half-hour I had given myself. For some reason the clock hadn’t awakened me. [...]

(Jane told me that this morning in hydro she moved her feet as she lay alone on the litter. [...]

[...] I told her that my stomach has been bothering me with gas lately, quite often, and that on several nights recently I’ve gotten up to take some soda. [...]

[...] When I finished the sessions she told me to get out the paper and pen instead. [...]

[...] She gave me also our copy of our medical records, but we were so busy I barely looked at them. [...]

[...] After lunch Jane told me that Steve and Tracy had sent her a telegram Sunday night, saying they couldn’t make it for a variety of reasons. She’d forgotten to tell me.

[...] Traffic noise was a bother at times — and that effect reminded me of how often such racket had been a problem when we held sessions at 458 W. Water Street.)

(“It’s me,” Jane said after a pause.

(4:21 p.m. Jane told me that yesterday Mary Jean, who had changed her dressings, had remarked upon how well the remaining bedsores are healing.

Give me a moment here. [...]

[...] I followed it all right, but at the same time I was wondering why the unconscious, when it saw how I was taking the symptom, didn’t get busy and eliminate it and set me at rest. [...]

Read that over and ask me whatever questions you want to at our next session, or if you have questions now I will answer them.

[...] Give me the weekend to think this over.”)

(To Ned.) And to this one, be gentle with that boy or you will hear from me. [...] Do you follow me? [...]

([Dennis:] “Sometimes this thing scares me.”)

There are some similarities, and that is all I will say this evening because it would take me five hours to explain what I meant by that statement. [...]

(To Rachel.) Now I have to look over here at my friend to see if she will wink at me again. [...]

(December 8, Tuesday, 8:30 PM: Quick full figure glimpse of Lois Williams, as she stood facing me and making a comical gesture. I then saw a gaunt blonde woman sitting in a chair, profile, facing my right, with her head tilted away from me at an angle. [...]

Even though such a period is due, I find myself jealous of missing any sessions, as you might guess, knowing me by now.

[...] It would be quite difficult for me to let you go completely for one whole week. [...]

[...] What are you going to give me for Christmas?

[...] She said she had something to show me after lunch. [...] It concerned his low opinion of Steve Blumenthal—to which he’s entitled, I suppose—but Saul himself made a number of inaccurate statements, so the situation appeared to me to be a standoff. [...]

[...] I’m sorry those changes aren’t as noticeable to you as they are to me. [...] But, I said, they were noticeable to me, if in a different way than her own awareness dictated.)

(She showed me, then, how the flesh of her forearms has turned soft and flexible, whereas up until yesterday it had been quite rigid and wooden, and she’d had no feeling in it. [...]

[...] This balled up our schedule, and made me late leaving Jane—at 7:30—but I see I managed to get the session done after a late supper anyhow. [...]

(This is important to note: after we’d had our talk, I suddenly realized that my gums had stopped bothering me. [...] But the event helped me get first-hand experience with the therapeutic benefits that can stem from simple communication. It reminded me of the therapist’s classic couch. [...]

[...] At the time we talked my gums were bothering me considerably in the lower front, and I’ve been having more than enough tooth trouble. [...]

[...] She agreed that her own behavior was compulsive, in her fastening upon religion, say, and later on me. [...]

[...] She told me how a traffic light was installed at the corner of Lake Street and Nelson Avenue, as a result of the suit Marie won against the city, concerning her grandmother’s death. [...]

I’ve had my own hassles with impulses, following only those I thought would lead me where I wanted to go, and drastically cutting down those I feared might distract me from my work. [...]

[...] As I wrote the previous few paragraphs of this Introduction, the words themselves seemed to carry me on with a certain rhythm. [...] More ideas came to me that I scribbled down in the bedroom. [...]

[...] Rob’s remarkable mind with its questions and probing nature has always stimulated me to do my best, and has served as a kind of invisible but sturdy psychological screen, helping me view myself and the sessions as clearly as possible. [...]

[...] The glass of wine on the coffee table before me, the cigarettes, and the mass-produced table itself, are all reminders that my most adventuresome journeys into other realities are rooted, for now at least, in the physical world of events that we all share together.

(At 9:45 she told me to get the Seth notebook, that we might have a session after all. [...] Willy, our cat, asleep in a chair near me, wasn’t involved. [...]

[...] She was in the car with me before the accident. [...] Whoever sat next to me, or was supposed to, was gone—not there—or hurt or thrown free...”

[...] As I worked however I was aware that Jane was even quieter; this is always a signal to me that something is up. [...]

[...] As we sat in the living room, which was very clean and neat, and well lit now since darkness was falling, Jane said she felt a sort of pyramid or cone effect, directed at me as I sat across the room from her in the rocker.

[...] Within a short time Ruburt will give me more freedom, I believe. That is, he will, I hope, allow me to speak with more freedom.

(December 28, Monday, 11:30 AM: I saw a pair of eyes close to me, looking straight at me. [...]

[...] At 9 PM Jane was sitting opposite me at our living room table, where I take my notes. [...]

(Jane still sat opposite me, her eyes closed. [...]

[...] my experiences put me outside the pale; on the other side of the fence from, say, the academic circles that I’d so respected; that my experience with other people was going to be vastly different; I thought I was looking for truth, but I’d be one of those under suspicion because of the kind of person into which I’d developed.... [...] I began to doubt myself, feeling that my natural leanings would lead me into areas considered suspect by others; that instead of rewards, there would be tinges at least of dishonor. [...]

(We had a Seth session for me last PM. [...]

[...] You were not, however, as polite with me. [...] However he was willing to listen to me irregardless, and I must admit that in no way do I understand your cutting me off in such a brusque manner.

(This statement, Jane informed me, made Seth boiling mad. [...]

[...] She later told me that at the beginning she was very nervous, since this was her first time before a witness. [...]

[...] And I find it very impolite of you to restrain me in this fashion.

(Almost at the beginning of the session Jane, as Seth, pointed at me and said my head would be clear for the rest of the evening. Hay fever had been bothering me a great deal during the day. Seth said the reason I am bothered more at home than at work, where I feel remarkably good, is that the house dust in the apartment reminds me of house dust at home, and of my mother, when I was a child.

(Seth told me I have improved in my relations with my parents, even though this is hard to see for me, at times. [...] In the future I will expand enough to be able to include them in my awareness without fear of personal threat, which impedes me at the moment. [...]

[...] The young lady works with me in the art department. [...]

[...] At about 11:50 PM Seth surprised me by asking if I had a test prepared. [...]

“Or that something will happen to me, that will prove that there is more to life than usual cause and effect,” he said to us. [...] “But if someone else told me things about myself that no one could know. [...]

[...] Now that would convince me!”

[...] “Look” I said, “no strings, no cards hidden within cards, no bag of tricks beside me on the floor.” [...]

Such a masterly
production
makes me think instead that
there are
clues
we’ve overlooked.

Now, I certainly hope that much is settled and that Ruburt will stop blatting at me. He keeps going at me more than I ever keep going at him between sessions, and he is just getting too good at it.

[...] But at lunch she told me she wouldn’t be surprised if we had a short session this evening. [...]

(When I picked Jane up after work at the gallery, she told me one of the flashes from Seth was this:)

[...] We had just finished supper when Jane motioned for me to get pen [...]

(I was surprised to learn that she had considered not telling me about her morning’s episode that brought on the blues: hydro. The situation reminded me of my wife’s strong secretive streak in her makeup—one much like mine, I thought. [...]

(Then Jane told me that the night nurse, Toni, whom I’ve yet to meet, tried to help her lay on her right side last night, for the first time since she’d broken the leg. [...]

[...] She hadn’t even mentioned a session—but soon, she did indeed tell me to get out my paper.)

I may or may not return, again according to those rhythms of which I have spoken—and let me remind you again [Joseph] that your own system is also being retuned. [...]

(Loren and Betts visited me from about 10:30 AM until 11:45. [...] I said what I thought in a mild way, but I could tell that often they didn’t really understand what I was saying—though at times Betts surprised me a little by agreeing with me. [...]

(After I’d had a nap Jane remembered to tell me that this morning, after hydro, she’d had an “experience” in which she’d seen herself baking a cake in the kitchen at 1730 Pinnacle, putting it in the oven, and so forth. [...]

(Debbie helped me lift Jane up higher on her bed before leaving. [...]

(She remembered to tell me that she’d had muscle spasms in her left leg last night, and that she got very irritated over it, but that they didn’t last long after she took her Darvoset. [...]

Give me a moment. [...] (To me:) You are largely the one to be satisfied, for Ruburt will find joy in almost any environment that he considers his own; you see he personifies in a way that you do not; any place he is in is his place, to his mind, as this is his yard. So any dwelling that you find he will personify and make his own, and therefore your own, if you follow me.

(To me:) I have a few comments before dictation. Give me a moment. [...]

[...] You do not need me to tell you this. [...]

Now since I am here, you can ask me what questions you have on this.