“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

[...] (Long pause.) The panic kept him from trusting his body, and as that dissipates his innate trust in his body and in his own capacities will improve, and his performance, of course. The suggestion I gave about his situation is important in that regard. [...]

The entire Sinful-Self syndrome should remind him of his own personal background, so that he can see the growth of his personality, for in the large he has of course grown out of that framework. If he had not, he would not have done any of his creative work, and in the light of his background his achievements become even more outstanding. [...]

[...] At the same time, of course, to some extent he blocked his own natural motion (underlined), which followed directly from his own motivations and abilities, his own desires and instincts. [...]

To some extent Ruburt’s panic is also the result of trying to live up to an impossible image, while forgetting his own personal background, and by expecting himself to behave as if that background was unimportant. [...]

Ruburt’s symptoms are not his challenge this time, as you asked (in question 13), but the philosophical connotations behind his difficulties certainly do involve his challenges this time.

This does not mean that he was fated to do any such thing, that it would not be done more easily in other fashions, but you can see some correspondence there by looking at his (underlined) paintings, and the vivid use of contrasting colors that are not subtle. [...] Ruburt has been using television programs and such cultural data as a basis for some of his own dreams. In such a way he sees his own personal situation more clearly—but he also sees the world situation as it reflects the same kind of philosophical questions.

[...] You are quite correct: Ruburt spent many years “building up his defenses.” Determined to use his abilities, while also determined to protect himself, and from (pause) any danger that those abilities themselves might carry with them.

(Pause.) In one way or another, Ruburt always understood that his natural leanings led him in such directions. It is easy to say that he overdid his defenses. [...]

The mental patterns are all-important, yet you see you have initiated some new ones creatively, using both Frameworks 1 and 2. You are correct: the more activities of a natural kind that Ruburt performs, whether or not he can do them on his feet, the better off he is, and you are. [...] It was, you see—I am explaining simply—too great a leap, if you will forgive me, to expect him to walk easily up his dentist’s steps at this point. His faith could not take that leap. What you have begun, however—if you keep to this frame of mind—will indeed accelerate his physical improvement, for his mind will already have made necessary changes.

He should look over his clothes, for example, lay out his special ones, or whatever, so that he can begin to feel he is capable of choosing his own attire for the day. [...]

If I try too specifically to help Ruburt become consciously aware of methods he uses naturally in his creative work, he is apt to get too detailed in his physical efforts, where the creative activity you have begun of itself can carry itself along in physical areas if you allow it to.

The peace of mind will enrich his creative abilities—and that will automatically minimize whatever fears he has that physical activity would cut down on his creativity.

His ego however is also very strong. His mother taught him to be extremely fearful of his subconscious, and the rigid ego became a protection from it and her. [...]

[...] He allowed himself no spontaneous expression at home with his mother. This denied, his normal spontaneity exploded when it was allowed opportunity, sometimes in unfortunate circumstances. [...]

[...] He is forcing himself to face his difficulties, but thus far his hands are tied, you see.

[...] There is a line from a poem of his, written years ago, in a period of stress, “If I can’t move one finger, how can the whole soul rise?" from his dance floor poem.

[...] John said that while Seth was speaking the name Laura Bittner popped into his mind. He saw this woman, who is stocky and in her fifties or early sixties, at his mother’s funeral, for the first time in many years, and now remembered that L.B. had been a close friend of his mother’s when he [John] was a child.

[...] He toppled his monarch, had no replacement, and opened his kingdom to ruin.

[...] This freedom catered to his weakness, you see. Had he more discipline it could also have released his strength.

[...] He cut off his ego to save his soul, and nearly lost both in the bargain. [...]

Now: Ruburt has been looking through some old papers, and it became obvious that over a period of time his journals show two main concerns—or, rather, main interests and goals: his writing and his attempts “to get better.”

Oftentimes he was not sure what his next book would be, but overall he never doubted there would be a next book. He did not imagine impediments that might rise to prevent a next book being written—nor did he doubt his ability to write one, or any number of books. At times he might think of writing in one area or another, but his imagination did not set up barriers: it was always receptive to new ideas, casting about for new experiences, consciously involved in the process of creativity.

[...] The two main concerns then instantly caught his attention. He did not see, however, the difference in his approach to those concerns—and in that difference lies the difference in results.

In his other main concern, “getting better,” he looks back upon past failures, and projects impediments into the future. In other words, his approach to these two main concerns is quite different—one opposite the other.

[...] Many years ago his experience with different editors, in his short-story publishing days, led him to see that a story that hit one editor might not hit another, that his work would be much more easily accepted by some editors than others, and that some, it seemed, regardless of long enthusiastic letters, would not buy a thing. [...]

(Pause.) This material should be read in conjunction with the sessions just mentioned, dealing with his ideas about work and creativity. [...] The matter of Yale led him in his own way to think of his work as if it were to be an institution, every word recorded, so that you only wrote down what you wanted other people to know—and therefore somewhat discouraged spontaneity of expression. [...]

I am not agreeing here, necessarily, but stating his reaction. [...] He felt also that my ideas in Mass Events, and his ideas in God of Jane, were almost bound to bring about some controversy from the beginning—for reasons he largely worked out for himself—and they are related in his book. [...]

His early writing, and his best later writing, spring alike from that realization, when he forgets ideas of our work’s responsibility, or how respectable he should appear, and simply does it because it is a natural expression of his being —one expression among others. [...]

Ruburt must do his own creative work in his writing hours. He must for his health’s sake take at least 15 minutes a day to relax in any fashion he chooses—but mental and physical relaxation. [...]

[...] An individual sets for himself those challenges that lie within his realm at any given time. He does not tackle challenges that in his terms are too great to be solved.

[...] Until his own understanding of his nature and the nature of consciousness progressed, he needed those tactics.

[...] He identified completely with his body. Afterward he could not identify with his body in the same way. [...]

[...] If our words could not convince him, or his own understanding grasp the truth, then you had the “truth” uttered with all the medical profession’s authority—and if once a doctor had told him years ago how excellent was his hearing, the medical profession now told him that his slowness [his thyroid deficiency], helped impair his hearing to an alarming degree. [...]

[...] Ruburt kept turning down his thermostat, so to speak. Now his desires and intents have set it upon a healthy, reasonable setting, and the inner processes are automatically activated to bring about the normal quickening of his body, as before his intent led to the body’s automatic slowness. [...]

[...] His weaknesses were out in the open, dramatically presented, and from that point, unless he chose death he could only go forward: for suddenly he felt that there was after all some (underlined) room to move, that achievements were possible, where before all achievements seemed beside the point in the face of his expected superhuman activity. [...]

The same process involving the thyroid gland has happened several times in his life, and in each of those cases it has repaired itself. [...]

His conscious mind, when he is not writing, should be anchored on something. [...] His mind, his conscious mind, is the type that should be anchored in such a way, for it is overactive, otherwise, and when he is not at his best it will leap to brooding. [...]

He has used his symptoms to some degree as a checking point. Before, the presence of his mother and those surroundings acted as both restraints on over-spontaneity, and as aids for the growth of creativity. [...]

Since he had temporarily put you in the role of a controlling factor, this was also in the back of his mind. [...] The issues were not identical, you see, but similar enough in his mind.

He also felt it would help him understand to some extent his mother’s actions, and rid him of the hatred he had of her. [...] He did not get his symptoms to test my theories, understand. [...]

[...] He did not want to admit his own strong spontaneous nature. [...] He need only strongly desire that it return, on his terms, and he will find it.

In his case he made alterations that severely prevented expression of spontaneity, in physical movement. [...] When he realizes, and you can help him, that he is indeed safe, only when he trusts his spontaneity, then he will be free.

[...] The reason for his unrest yesterday and today is simple. [...] He was afraid that his spontaneous self had been swallowed in our sessions. [...]

You can also help by reminding him that his safety does lie in spontaneity, and that joy will result from any complete and sudden release. In the past he did not want to accept his spontaneous nature because he felt he was not sufficiently disciplined or strong enough to control it, and he did not want to accept the responsibility for it.

Your loving encouragement will help Ruburt change his own beliefs, for you can (underline three times) help him trust his physical body. You cannot do it for him, but you can help or impede his progress.

Timothy (Foote) will not forget you for his own reasons. His interest is aroused, and he will pursue it. [...]

In Dreams (recently) Ruburt tried to assess his psychic experiences, and could not do it. [...]

[...] But in his scheme of beliefs a cough can be rather easily dispensed with, and he was aware of this.

He does have a purpose, that is one of several courses that he can follow, that will enable him to fulfill the purpose, which is his during this existence. [...] He will learn to use his intellect as a fine tool, while his intuitions point to the proper direction.

A peculiar set of circumstances was needed to fire his being, to focus his attention, and that was our job. [...]

[...] He must escape his occasional glibness, for he could use it to fool himself and not use his full abilities.

[...] Ruburt’s own abilities are growing, for as he is allowing himself release in his work, so he is allowing release of his abilities.

5. Since he cannot see up or down (as we cannot see the fourth dimension) he is not aware that his “future” is already there and that his “past” still exists. His third dimension is time but he cannot see it. [...]

[...] Because “he” is two-dimensional “he” sees dimensions in his plane, as we three-dimensional beings can see in our three dimensions. [...] He would, however, be able to see other beings at his same level in nearby stacks. [...]

6. If this two-dimensional being, through psychic ability were able to project himself into other levels of his existence (the stack) he could see his “future” and that of other beings in nearby stacks. [...]

Sometimes his intellect has worked with me, sometimes not. I am far more resilient, pliable, flexible and daring then other elements of his personality, which are fear-ridden. Some of his attitudes have to do with his parents, in that he fears he could become like his father—undisciplined and slack, loose and amoral.

His mother’s scorn told him this was a part of a bad blood heritage, an inevitable part of his condition. Ruburt felt that his mother only liked him because of his writing. In the early novels his repressed feelings could be expressed. [...]

[...] Because in the beginning you emphasized discipline, he felt you did not think him capable of exerting it on his own; that while you were attracted to his spontaneity you feared it and his energy. He felt that you believed that, given a free hand, his habits would be too exuberant. [...]

[...] He picked up your ideas of discipline in the beginning, then latched upon them in his own way. He felt you did not trust his judgment, remembering what he thought of as key points in your life, when his judgment seemed wrong or when it was criticized.

His bubbling enthusiasm was partially responsible for his contracting The Seth Material. [...] He was also not rigid in his ideas, however, and sensed the importance of the material, and as a young editor impressed his boss by his own enthusiasm. He learned as the book progressed, and he did stand up for the book to the best of his ability at the time.

(Possibly here Seth refers to the results flowing from Dick’s mentioning The Seth Material on his TV and radio shows in the course of talking about his own book, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, etc.)

[...] Aerofranz is not (underlined) particularly businesslike in his approach. He has not had (underlined) to fight for a book in strong terms, but his energy and belief helped it greatly at Prentice, and was transmitted to the salesmen. [...]

[...] In his enthusiastic feeling for the book, the best he could do with his lack of training was to think of it in terms of the best in the occult market.

He thinks he is being practical when he worries about his condition. [...] You think that in terms of his physical condition the point of power is in the past. Despite all of this, the overall processes of his body have improved. His flesh is more responsive and alive. [...] His weight—for him—is almost normal.

You did well today, encouraging him in his house walking. Your original “walk for joy” was an “absolute” by contrast making his attempts seem futile. He is afraid that dependence as a woman threatens you because of his own beliefs. Your encouragement of his independence was interpreted as “Don’t dare be dependent.”

[...] A man protects his family because he loves it—but in his love he can see threats all around.

Your father expressed his love in his garage. [...]

Nevertheless the fear exaggerates his morbid concern with his heart. [...]

[...] His daughter mentioned here is a junior in high school. We like him and his family very much.)

An uncle of his, on his side of the family, to die in the near future.

[...] His wife is ignorant in the main of his financial manipulations, and she hides what suspicions she has from herself.

(Seth told Bill he subconsciously blamed his father for his mother’s condition, after Bill remarked that whenever he and his father were together for a few minutes they would end up arguing. Also, when a small child Bill had overheard a sexual encounter between his parents, in which his mother cried out. Bill took it to mean his father had hurt his mother. Later when his mother fell ill, Bill made the subconscious connection with her illness and this earlier incident, and blamed his father for his mother’s illness.

(Bill and Peggy agreed that Seth’s material on his parents seems to fit them psychologically, although some of the information given concerning Bill’s subconscious feelings toward his father was a surprise to Bill. At one point Seth asked Bill to not say so much when he answered a question, because this led Ruburt to start to actively and consciously consider the material and to make his own interpretations, which could be distorted. Seth also asked Bill not to tell us any more about his family relationships; presumably so that more material Seth came through with in future sessions could be checked with Bill’s knowledge, as in the blue dress and the bookkeeping incidents.

(During his discussion on the creation of matter, Seth used the coffee table and a wineglass in making his points about how each of us creates his own world, with its own atoms and molecules. [...]

[...] There was some kind of disagreement as to Bill’s choice of a career [Bill had left the Navy not long before], an argument with Bill’s father; ever after that Bill didn’t get along with his father. Bill did not follow his father’s suggestions, I believe.

Until the very recent past, his body in a way was overdisciplined, so that it maintained a fairly stable but rigid framework. Certain postures were allowed, certain motions, and not others, as if Ruburt operated his body as though it were a puppet, keeping it in certain ritualized motions by holding the strings too tightly.

[...] He used to close his eyes tightly, often, when he sat down, tensing the knee ligaments and the eyes at the same time. [...] When he reached for something to the side he reached like this: his eyes did not follow the motion.

[...] His head feels fuller, and other portions of the body also. These changes mean that the pressure in his ears and head changes. [...]

It is Ruburt of course whose moods are more noticeable, but he still should feel free to discuss his fears with you when he is in a poor mood. For even if you are not filled with faith at such times, you can usually recognize that his fears are exaggerated rather than realistic, even in those terms.