“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(11:29.) If he feels like a nap, there is a reason for it. He may not be relaxed enough of mind so that that particular nap yields what it is supposed to; then he becomes angry for the lost time. He is afraid that if he trusts himself he will not work the proper number of hours. [...]

[...] He thought they were fascinating, charming, self-destructive, and wasted most of their time in emotional and sexual excursions leading nowhere. He was determined not to fall into that trap. He did not realize that the people he knew — Nelson Hayes, for example, and Mauzet—were not basically artists, in this case writers. [...] But he made his judgment.

His intent in Framework 2 was so clear that his creative spontaneity was retained to a large degree despite the blankets he threw upon it. He equated, again, the writer or poet as highly gifted but emotionally not stable, so that he thought he had to set himself against his own nature in order to produce.

(Jane has been employing to good effect Seth’s suggestion about using the red star, as he gave that idea in the last deleted session. [...] For myself, I wanted Seth’s comments on the Spanish Framework 2 connections that he detailed last session, re Ryerson, Macdonnel, our books being translated, and the card from Carlos Smith; I wondered what had initiated any Framework 2 connections for us via Spain, since we had no interests of note there.

[...] I went through Pratt with him, and Jane met he and his wife once after we were married and were still living in the NY metropolitan area. [...] He had none and I offered him a pair of mine, saying I thought they’d fit well enough. But when he pulled the shorts up around his waist the blue denim kept turning into a blue Turkish towel type of fabric that he tried to pin together so they’d cover him and wouldn’t fall down. He kept trying to make something useful out this affair, and the more he tried the more obvious it became that he was trying to wrap himself in a blue-and-white Turkish towel in lieu of shorts. He didn’t seem upset and wasn’t as old in the dream as he would be now; still blonde.

[...] He identified the short man who would be out as Jim Brady. [...] John has already refused, he said, to commit himself re a promotion to Rochester. He said it was likely he would remain in this area of the country, that is, the northeast. Freewheeling basis would pertain to John’s interpretation, he said, of the changed mode of operation by which the pharmaceutical industry attempts to sell its products and its image.

[...] Yet he offered you a chance at the grab bag for his own reasons. He would give you as a gift. He would give you to others as a gift in order to gain advantages for himself, and in order to gain your loyalty and obligation.

[...] He is not in a position to, and his own position has changed. He is one of the pawns.

[...] He and the man from California will have some say-so, and you will then add your voice to theirs. [...] This Stan is no fool, but he is being outwitted.

A few old hangovers, simply to be aired so they do not remain underground—this is old material—but Ruburt’s mother used to tell him that he destroyed everything he touched. So when his books began to sell well, and for reasons given, he worried about this energy of his. Since his work was new, he had only faith in himself to go on, and that faith was indeed shaky at times.

Ruburt might go on television for example 50 times—to be met by applause, acclaim and understanding, but in his reality, imaginatively, he would be met by scorn and derision. He need never go on television, but he must understand that the safety factor is built-in, and is dependable

Again, he does not have to feel—and he should not feel—that ideally he should be a public personality, going abroad to sell our ideas. [...]

[...] It surprised him because he allowed it to. He treated his body like a tyrant treats his people, and the body strenuously objected. [...]

He stands at this moment against a piece of wooden furniture, and he is drinking from a glass. I believe he is drinking liquor, and he is smiling. [...]

[...] He is smiling and chatting. (Pause at 10:14.) He has been talking about politics, though this may be university politics. [...] He says: “There are large areas of improvement. [...]

[...] Bill told us that he would have to leave for a few minutes to pick up an advertisement at the bus terminal and take it to the newspaper office, the Star-Gazette, where he works. [...] Bill himself would not know the contents of the ad, which was in an envelope, until he opened it at the paper.

[...] When he got to the office and tried to make a layout for four columns however, he found it to be too crowded and switched to a five-column layout. The sigs he arranged at the bottom of the ad.

[...] He felt that you would go along, but on your own would prefer no company. That evening he followed his impulse. He felt proud of himself, at ease with the company, and he spoke of matters he considered important. A feeling of peace filled him as he enjoyed the evening, and he forgot his physical problems. [...]

[...] In effect, of course, he becomes afraid to see people. He sees himself at such times in an inferior physical situation, so that it seems to him that physically “he is not a good specimen,” but obviously flawed. So it seems to him that he does not see people because he is ashamed of his physical condition.

[...] The encounter with the reporter, for example, on quite practical levels represented a shot in the arm, in that it quickly showed Ruburt that he is quite able to deal with such situations, that he handles them well, and that sense of confidence can then be used as new information to help break down old beliefs of inferiority.

He yielded to the impulse to say yes for the interview, where earlier he would not have. [...]

[...] In Ruburt’s case, however, he felt that he should (underlined) act on all the other ways I specified, though he did not want to. Again, on occasion he promised himself that if he walked normally he would be only too glad to perform in such ways. [...] He was also afraid that spontaneously he might want to do such things after all, as if his spontaneous self would work against his better interests. [...]

(Long pause at 9:22.) Now nothing is all that simple, so there would be changes in his attitudes: He would tell himself, for example, that television or whatever would fritter away his time, or at other occasions other fears would rise so that the Sinful Self would think “Suppose such activity succeeded only too well, leading whole groups of people away from established systems of belief?” (Long pause.) There seemed to be little resolution. [...] If he must think in terms of responsibility, then the only responsibility he has is to express the spirit of life as it is most naturally felt in his experience, through the development of his abilities in their natural flow (underlined). [...]

(Long pause.) He grew up of course with many responsibilities in connection with the care of his mother. [...] So it seemed to Ruburt that the books were not considered to be enough: he was expected to do all of those other things beside. [...]

[...] All of this made him feel that he was not living up to expectations, that he was to some extent a failure for not doing all of those things. [...]

When he is proficient with the bathroom routine, which you were very wise to begin, we will start some other simple new routines, one at a time, instilling appropriate body reaction to a safe universe. [...] He is not to walk normally because he should, any more than he should write “because he should.” He is a writing kind of being, and he is a walking kind of being.

[...] The better known he became the greater the belief that he must protect himself, and the greater his feeling of unsafety, for now he became known in a world in which it was only safe to hide. [...]

He is also correct in that he is being educated. [...] Automatically now he is relaxing areas that have been released as soon as any tension appears. [...]

[...] As he said once, he does not walk on his arms, so the improvement in the legs takes place in such a way that balance can be maintained. [...]

He acts, speaks, walks, talks, makes certain deductions. He responds to interior stimuli. [...] He travels through space in moments. He speaks with those who do not exist within physical reality. He sees parents who have died in physical ways, and in his dreams he knows, on many occasions, what other characters think within the dream context.

(Bill Gallagher voiced the thought that during delivery there is always a change in Jane’s face, but that he couldn’t articulate it. He said he has been aware of this since the first session he and Peggy witnessed, the 158th.

Because—I say he advisedly, and we shall go into that at a later occasion—because he is not sure who he is looking at. [...]

[...] He is only aware of the interior time element as it appears within the framework of his dream. The personality will be seen to operate in some manners that would be considered quite normal, if he were in the waking state.

These were the methods he took then in line with his beliefs about the world and the nature of the self. He long ago decided to take issue with those beliefs, yet in case they were true, he felt he needed protection. So he did indeed —to some extent, now—turn his body into a shell of a kind, cutting down spontaneous activity in an unsafe universe.

He wanted to pursue a course that was unconventional. He felt he needed protection while he learned, and until he attained enough wisdom. [...]

Ruburt’s symptoms were largely protective in nature, providing a defense he felt he needed to protect himself against an unsafe universe from without, and against a suspicious self within.

Politics will be an even better book than he hopes, so he is not to worry. [...]

[...] Ruburt was in a position where he realized that. He accepted the fact that he formed his own reality, and that there were physical aspects of it that disturbed him deeply. He also understood (long pause), that he could not use me as a crutch.

His core belief in himself as a writer, he saw, was really highly constrictive. He had not realized that before. At the same time he had consciously known it, but allowed it to remain invisible. He realized that the writing and psychic aspects each did want to write, and this was the bridge belief.

Through this belief he viewed all of his experience, correlating it; he encouraged those impulses that furthered it, and impeded those that did not. Now: Because of this particular temperament he put all of his eggs in one basket, so to speak. [...]

As he worked with his beliefs, Ruburt found himself in a position where he came face to face with two conflicting core beliefs. [...] He had schooled himself to refute any opposing impulses, and built his life along those lines from a young age.

[...] And when he is angry he does not want to give his anger up. What will vanish is any feeling on his part of being subconsciously drained, as he does feel occasionally, and only when he is perturbed at something else.

[...] Nor, my dear Joseph, are these explosions, though this is quite an exaggerated phrase, nor are these his alone; for he takes up also your hidden frustrations and angers, feels them deeply, though consciously he does not know this; and he then in these small explosions rather harmlessly dispels pent-up, small but potent emotional bombshells that belong to you both.

[...] He will not allow the rambunctious portion of his personality to upset our schedule, but because he trusts all this subconsciously, he will not be as disturbed as you are if a session is missed.

You have set up more blocks than he has. He will be more vulnerable or receptive to your moods than you are to his. You fear moods more than he does, because of the constant emotional gyrations in which your mother is constantly involved. [...]

(Pause.) He considered himself to be excellent at his work. [...] He found it—his occupation—to be a responsible one, befitting an adult. [...] In his spare time, however, for a lark, simply because he wanted to, he wrote his Alice in Wonderland—a book that is a masterpiece at many levels. What a shock when he discovered that the world was ignoring what he thought to be his important contribution to mathematics. He believed (underlined) that he should devote all of his time to his work, and could hardly forgive himself for his regrettable lapses into writing—and he was writing, after all, not even for adults, and not for young males either.

He was, in a fashion only, sexually ambiguous, his mathematics expressing what he thought of as an acceptable male aspect while the artistic levels in his mind, now, he related to his feminine aspects. So he was to some extent a divided man. His creativity showed itself, however, when he allowed himself to play, when he forgot what he thought he should do, and did what he wanted to do. [...]

[...] For all of Michelangelo’s ranting, he found great zest in the political tumult of his time, in which he was of course quite intimately involved. He played church and state against each other, made an ass of the Pope whenever he could, and was deeply involved in the social, political, and religious fervor of those days. [...]

(Pause.) Because of his beliefs he considered himself somewhat of a failure, and the rich, evocative nature of his own stories did not meet with the approval of his academically attuned mind. Despite himself, however, he was stretching the dimensions of his own consciousness, exercising his consciousness in different directions, expanding the scope of his abilities—and in so doing contributing a small masterpiece to the world. [...]

[...] He is working with your help, and yet privately, as each must, with his challenges. He saw today how the new book (Aspects II) emerged before he realized it, and accelerated into actuality. He will explain this. [...] Again, he has been afraid of mentioning some, because the walking is not better. [...]

[...] On the other hand, he is placing himself in a position of trusting the inner self, not from a state of agility and confidence, but one in which he must remind himself that despite, say, soreness, definite feelings of life and mobility appear. [...]

[...] To some extent Ruburt held back physically, not wanting to bother you while he thought you were concentrating upon the diagrams and drawings. He does not want to slow you down while shopping, for example.

[...] All he needs is the confidence.

[...] Perhaps, we thought, he wanted to give us no reports until the experiments were finished. If so, why didn’t he just tell us? [...] Dr. Instream always assured us of his continuing interest, told us to go on with the tests, and said that he had no evidence yet strong enough to “convince the hard-nosed psychologist.” [...] He said nothing about the numerous names and dates, the visitors or letters mentioned in the sessions. [...] He never told us.

[...] The salesman who waited on us became quite talkative when he learned that Rob was going to use the Masonite for paintings. He told us that a European artist had done a portrait of him while he’d been a soldier in World War II. Somewhat humorously, he described how the artist had drawn his face as though it were symmetrical and without blemish, while actually it was quite asymmetrical with an impaired eye. [...]

[...] Once more I wrote the good doctor, suggesting that he not spare my feelings in case the data was just wrong. [...] Again he wrote of his continuing interest and suggested we keep on. But he would not say we were doing well, fair, or poorly, and he gave no reports on the many specific details given.

[...] He will not bother to use [even] normal perception to obtain it. [...] I help him change the energy that he uses in perception into other directions, to turn it inward. [...] Then, according to his basic characteristics, he uses the information.”

[...] In your friend’s case, the realization that he can eat those foods means that he understands that he can encounter those beliefs in himself, as he is now beginning to do.

[...] If he had a symptom after eating specific items, then he avoided those. Before he read the book the idea would not have occurred to him in that context.

He saw himself as rising above the serpent, which was a symbol of unconscious knowledge. Yet the serpent would always mystify and attract man, even though he must stand upon its head, symbolically speaking, and rise from its knowledge.

As soon as your friend began reading his book on health foods he received, or presented himself with, an excellent example of the way in which beliefs work. If he realizes this now the experience can be invaluable.

[...] He realizes that he is a creator of the book, not its prisoner, and he once thought that he was. He has stepped clear of it (pause), its fate no longer seen as his fate, regardless of what happens to the book.

For that matter the book has changed you see from what it was, as he has changed from what he was. He also knows that the book will be published, and this inner information has been given to him in one way or another time and time again.

He will hear of its publication soon. That is, within a short time he will know physically that it will be published. (Pause; smile.)He will be working on it through some stages of the Seth material, also. [...]

[...] He progresses at a natural rate however, at his own rate. He will not overdo, for in this his ego is an aid and it will see to it that over-exertion does not occur. [...]

In fact, for a period he led a double life as a member of the Zealots. He turned against them vehemently, however, as he was later to turn against the Romans to join the Christians. Before his conversion, he knew he had a purpose and mission, and flung himself with all the passion of his being into whatever answers he thought he had found.

[...] He fell, instead, into the trap of provincialism. Had he performed the role possible, he could have been of benefit to Paul. He was a probable personality of the Paul portion of the Christ entity.

[...] John baptized Christ at the beginning of his ministry in A.D. 26 to 27, when he was about thirty. [...] Shortly after he baptized Jesus, John was imprisoned by Herod Antipas in the fortress Machaerus, near the Dead Sea.

[...] Consciously Paul remembered many of these dreams, until he felt pursued by Christ. [...] He felt that Christ was a kind of devil who pursued him in his sleep.

He started using them in ways he had not before. They were not in the old locked position, and he was beginning to enlarge his peripheral vision, which though he did not know it, had previously been limited by the head motion. [...] He became frightened. [...]

[...] He is verbal. [...] He “hit upon” the word “responsive” in relationship to his body. He decided that above all he now wanted his body to be responsive.

Previous to that he had held his head, neck, shoulders, and arms, using them almost as one block, allowing those motions necessary for typing and reading, with some additional motions possible for the few chores he managed to do.

[...] He had noticed for some time before that he had difficulty rolling his eyes when they were closed, for example.

He (Ruburt) was bound and determined to explore the nature of reality.¹ … He wanted to protect himself until he had enough knowledge to know what he was doing. He fears for the gullibility of people, and is rightly appalled at their superstitions — as you are, Joseph (as Seth calls me). Indeed, as Ruburt became aware of the little that is known, he wondered at his own daring. There was no one he could turn to for instruction. I could have helped him further, but I was [part of what he was investigating] …

(Seth continued:) He also began to see two poles in society one highly conventional and closed, in which he would appear as a charlatan; and another, yearning but gullible, willing to believe anything if only it offered hope, in which his activities would be misinterpreted, and to him [would be] fraudulent … There was a middle ground that he would have to make for himself … to make a bridge to those intellectuals who doubted, and yet maintain some freedom and spontaneity in order to reach those at the other end. [...]