“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Its organization, however, must be its own, coming from many angles of experience, involving Ruburt’s own expression as well as yours—and this material will bring us to a reactivation (long pause), back to certain points of reference you were involved in last summer.

(Very long pause at 8:20.) I want to go back in terms of continuity, and yet also for tonight’s purposes I want to stress the power of love’s expression in automatically combating such negative situations. That is, the expression of love automatically reassures the sinful self that it is indeed not sinful (a statement that at once I found hard to believe, considering its past and recent actions).

Some of this will appear quite clearly later, that is, certainly Ruburt felt (underlined) at times that his mother hated him. When Ruburt fell in love with you, his vigor, strength, and expression rose to the surface. He needed love’s expression on your part, and he spontaneously expressed his own love for you in words and action.

(Very long pause at 8:25.) The emotional forces that lie behind these statements that I make are impossible to describe. As we begin this group of sessions, then, express your love as warmly as possible, in gesture and in words. For a while forget restrained caution (intently). Such expressions will automatically reassure Ruburt at those deep levels.

Some of this of course will involve Ruburt’s own expression—highly important. Your own love for Ruburt is far more helpful than you realize—and if you can get the feel of that love, it alone can serve as a very potent force that can refresh and revitalize both of your lives.

(8:31 PM. The end was abrupt. I felt so many emotions churning within me that I wondered just how I was supposed to express all of this love amid all of them. Was I supposed to just rise above all of them and forget everything else, or what? Before the session I’d told Jane that I’d always felt that in our relationship my own contributions were doomed to fall short of what she wanted and expected from me —that I’d always felt I couldn’t give all she needed from a marriage partner. Those early feelings are still true to me, and now they’re wound up with my more recent feelings that it seems to be up to me to struggle to try to save Jane from herself. An impossible task, of course, but one I’m acutely aware of these days. One small example: As usual, if it wasn’t for my own demands and suggestions, this session wouldn’t even exist—whereas to my way of thinking Jane should have demanded to have it on her own. I’d have been amazed had she done so, but glad to comply. My feeling here has always been that it’s my doing that we have any private material at all—that she’s always avoided it. In present terms I think that situation is just another example of the workings of the sinful self —to avoid challenge, to have its own way at all costs.

(Perhaps, I thought as I wrote these notes, I’d become badly conditioned over the last 15 years, so beset by constant worry and frustration that a “simple thing” like the expression of love became lost somewhere amid all the rubble. There was no doubt the session left me as frustrated and bitter as ever, but at least I had managed to get an admission that the sinful self was still highly active. I couldn’t believe that after all this time and effort over the years, we were back to square one, trying to figure it all out. I have strong doubts that we ever will.