“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Once more, Jane wasn’t comfortable in her chair as she prepared for the session at 9 PM. “It’s really weird to be so unambitious,” she said as she tried to get settled. She’d done some excellent notes for her third essay for her book of poetry today, though she hadn’t worked at it as much as in other recent days. She’d also slept several hours today, though as usual after laying down for a short time her arms and legs became very sore. She’d soon wakened from that first delicious snoring.

(Pause.) Now you have always from childhood drawn or painted, and in that regard there has been that constant interest. You looked out at the world through the eyes of a painter—but it was more than a painter’s world you saw (a great line, as Jane said). You were also always interested in writing. At times you expect from yourself a kind of accomplishment that the first kind of artist might produce, without any due regard for the fact that you are your own person, that you possessed a love of words as well, that you had excellent critical capacities.

(Pause at 9:35.) Such ideas, then, prevent you from enjoying your own accomplishments, as you should more properly do, and from enjoying their growth through time, from the background that was your own. The same applies to Ruburt.

This is all apart from the considerable accomplishment of holding your own in the society while doing your own things, and in achieving a good deal of freedom in that regard. Your psychological growth is not something you can look at in the mirror, yet it is that growth that is also responsible for your painting and writing Ruburt’s books and his connections with me. In a fashion Ruburt’s symptoms are caused because he tries to understand his abilities and his life in a too-limited context, with definitions still too narrow. We are trying to broaden those definitions.

(Pause at 9:58.) There are considerable freedoms available to you that you ignore because your connections with those idealized images governs some of your joint reactions. I will discuss some of those at a later time.

Some of your psychological growth is obvious through the books, of course—obvious to others if often not to yourselves. The books make a psychological impact difficult to describe—one of course that overall presents a kind of multidimensional portrait, highly difficult to assess. (Long pause.) You lose contact with yourself to whatever extent as you compare yourself to others, and therefore your own work can escape you, again, and the contour of your own experience. You are planting seeds, and with the books you are planting seeds, only the results are not immediately before your eyes—a good point to remember.

This will be a brief session, and unless you have other comments I will try to answer two or three of your questions at a time in the sessions immediately following.