“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(We were fairly sure her reactions stemmed from the barrage of material Seth has given us since we began this series of “crash” sessions last week, but that knowledge didn’t help her much today. Particularly apparent, I thought, would be effects from last night’s session, which I regard as excellent. This morning in bed Jane had thrashed and whimpered almost constantly while both sleeping and waking, unable to get comfortable. The panicky feelings wouldn’t allow that, though—they expressed themselves in waves just as they had last Monday and Wednesday mornings. I took this to mean that communication continued between her Sinful Self and other levels of her personality.

(“Incredible,” I said to myself, thinking about the daily struggle she now had to contend with just to do a few basic things like using the bathroom. Last night’s session was in my mind, of course. And I thought that years ago, [and with my own unwitting cooperation] Jane had given over control of her life in certain large ways to the Sinful Self through the symptoms—and yes, abjectly allowed it to exert such power and influence that now she finally found herself in the grip of a strong force, or set of beliefs. Why such a course of action, such a surrender, as I saw it? A little suffering in life—okay, I thought, considering the session last night—but this? She’d reached her limit in some areas, such as the bathroom.

(At noon, as we ate, I asked her what she thought the Sinful Self might make of the Speaker manuscript material she’d been getting in recent days. Jane said she’d been wondering also.

Now: One point I wanted to make for the record. The Sinful Self, however, no longer identifies with the Roman Catholic Church, as once it did, and in years past it also became dissatisfied with that framework. It represents what is left over of Ruburt’s questioning and doubts, those unresolved areas that were emotionally charged not only because of, say, Church doctrine, but intensified because of emotional episodes with his mother, or other such issues. In that regard the Sinful Self, then, is not pleased with its situation.

The Sinful Self wants to be sure it is not lying, because it feels that according to its definitions it is naturally given to such behavior—being bad, sinful, et cetera. The entire false-prophet syndrome comes from those feelings.

Many issues once connected to that Sinful-Self core of belief have long ago either been satisfied, reconciled, or otherwise changed. (Long pause.) The feelings of panic represent any child’s fear of being abandoned by its parents or community if it is too rebellious. (Long pause.) Those feelings of panic are the ones that he has repressed, of course. They often represent humiliations, most often at his mother’s hands—humiliations that convinced him that he was indeed unlovable and bound for trouble.

(“We were wondering what the Sinful Self might think about work on those Speaker manuscripts.

(Seth nodded assent. I repeated my question about the Sinful Self’s opinion of Jane working on Speaker manuscripts.)