“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt’s creativity not only involves that kind of behavior, but the mystic elements of the personality, meaning that the inner activity is very intense, so that Ruburt learned from a young age to develop a certain kind of secrecy. His poetry was largely mystical poetry, and though he did not dwell upon the fact, he realized that this vast inner reality of his was quite beside the point of living as far as other people were concerned.

(9:35.) Give us a moment.... If you recall, Ruburt could chatter quite well, and carry on in a more or less normal manner while brooding deeply about something, and saying nothing. He was bound to publish his work—any kind—but equally determined to protect his private nature. The secretness meant that he could hide his intent from himself for some time. Most people, as I mentioned, experience their contacts with the world through many prepared structures—that of church, community, clubs, professional organizations, family affiliations, academic affiliations—and these frameworks serve automatically to cushion such contact, and in a way, while permitting contact with the world, also blunting it to some extent. In that respect, most individuals do not stand alone, and, in that respect Ruburt feels that except for you he does, and must meet the world “head-on” when there is such conflict.

Both of you see the foibles of others rather clearly. Ruburt began to concentrate upon them, however, and also feared that the classes might turn into more public endeavors as they became better known—one of the reasons for dropping them.

The mystic is primarily concerned with a one-point relationship to the universe. Ruburt used to feel as a child threatened by crowds. He did not like to sit close to others. The two of you maintain a psychic distance from others, even your closest friends. In a way the symptoms are a statement of the distance Ruburt wanted to maintain from public life, because he felt equally that he should go out into the world in a public manner, and “tackle it.”

If he were free of fear, it seemed to him, he would do so. Ruburt, however, deals well with individuals, as in class; while preserving his privacy he still extended it. He enjoyed radio, even on your tours, because he spoke from a concealed viewpoint, where his person was concealed. The secret elements of his personality rise up against the public connotations of standing before the crowd. This is not necessarily a fear, say, of performing inadequately, nor a fear of exposure in ordinary terms. It is a distaste for being surrounded by the public emotions.

Ruburt did begin to feel more and more apart from the ordinary world, and both of you concentrated upon that feeling of apartness.

In other periods, for example, there were acceptable frameworks through which mystics expressed themselves, and most cultures have such avenues. In times of transition the old avenues no longer serve. Ruburt has no exterior framework to judge his subjective experience against, for even when he was in the church his experience did not fit the mold.

Your society teaches a basic distrust of the self, but even then from their organizations people look for a sense of approval. While relying upon himself, Ruburt still had no guidelines, and to some extent he felt that he had to rein himself in, to go cautiously, and he began to doubt himself. Even science fiction was not large enough, imaginatively, to contain his abilities, and when those abilities did indeed flower he was afraid he was more of an outcast than ever.

Give us a moment.... Ruburt acted as naturally as possible today, reminding himself to be spontaneous. Your natural way of dealing with the world is also one of trust (to me), but you also feel that the world might betray such trust. True trust, however, is your greatest protection, and you cannot be betrayed, for you will not attract deceivers. It is far better to trust, for you open up Framework 2 so that benefits become available that might otherwise not be—and even if it seems that a trust is betrayed in an individual case, the overall picture will prove to be far different.