“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Numerous questions were raised by the event, of course, but Seth doesn’t go into them this evening. Jane and I have started our own list for Wednesday night’s session, instead. It can hardly be a coincidence that this “opportunity” materialized shortly after we began our new program suggested by Seth, and what we’ve learned about our attitudes toward publicity, scorn and criticism, and go forth. Perhaps our handling of the affair will show just where we’re at, as they say. No commitments have been made, and I’m anxious that Jane consider whether she even wants the interview, as well as the questions that would then arise, should she answer yes.

(Jim Poett said that we would see the article before it’s printed, at our insistence; I’d find it strange indeed to cooperate with a venture that would end up taking us apart in ways we didn’t approve of. But Jane says she trusts him, and I’m willing to go along with her feelings on the matter.)

Ruburt’s creativity not only involves that kind of behavior, but the mystic elements of the personality, meaning that the inner activity is very intense, so that Ruburt learned from a young age to develop a certain kind of secrecy. His poetry was largely mystical poetry, and though he did not dwell upon the fact, he realized that this vast inner reality of his was quite beside the point of living as far as other people were concerned.

To some extent, he tried to emulate their behavior—that is, to behave the way they did, while at the same time he intently pursued a rather adventuresome inner psychic existence. That existence was expressed in the personality, but not in the normal conversation with the boys he dated, or with his friends. In early years, the church did serve as a structure. When he left it, however, he was without such a structure, and when he did discuss such matters with the priests, they often had more pragmatic sexual interests in mind.

(9:35.) Give us a moment.... If you recall, Ruburt could chatter quite well, and carry on in a more or less normal manner while brooding deeply about something, and saying nothing. He was bound to publish his work—any kind—but equally determined to protect his private nature. The secretness meant that he could hide his intent from himself for some time. Most people, as I mentioned, experience their contacts with the world through many prepared structures—that of church, community, clubs, professional organizations, family affiliations, academic affiliations—and these frameworks serve automatically to cushion such contact, and in a way, while permitting contact with the world, also blunting it to some extent. In that respect, most individuals do not stand alone, and, in that respect Ruburt feels that except for you he does, and must meet the world “head-on” when there is such conflict.

(9:40. “No, I guess not.” Seth asked because the storm that had been threatening for several hours was finally in the process of breaking. We had most of our windows and both doors wide open, but since all seemed rather sheltered from the wind anyhow, I decided to see if we could ride out the storm without shutting up the house.)

(10:00. Now the storm was going full blast, but we left the house open to the wind, thunder, and lightning. Very refreshing, although I had to ask Seth to repeat a word or phrase every so often because of the noise. Resume in the same manner at 10:12.)

Your society teaches a basic distrust of the self, but even then from their organizations people look for a sense of approval. While relying upon himself, Ruburt still had no guidelines, and to some extent he felt that he had to rein himself in, to go cautiously, and he began to doubt himself. Even science fiction was not large enough, imaginatively, to contain his abilities, and when those abilities did indeed flower he was afraid he was more of an outcast than ever.

Give us a moment.... Ruburt acted as naturally as possible today, reminding himself to be spontaneous. Your natural way of dealing with the world is also one of trust (to me), but you also feel that the world might betray such trust. True trust, however, is your greatest protection, and you cannot be betrayed, for you will not attract deceivers. It is far better to trust, for you open up Framework 2 so that benefits become available that might otherwise not be—and even if it seems that a trust is betrayed in an individual case, the overall picture will prove to be far different.