“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(9:35.) Give us a moment.... If you recall, Ruburt could chatter quite well, and carry on in a more or less normal manner while brooding deeply about something, and saying nothing. He was bound to publish his work—any kind—but equally determined to protect his private nature. The secretness meant that he could hide his intent from himself for some time. Most people, as I mentioned, experience their contacts with the world through many prepared structures—that of church, community, clubs, professional organizations, family affiliations, academic affiliations—and these frameworks serve automatically to cushion such contact, and in a way, while permitting contact with the world, also blunting it to some extent. In that respect, most individuals do not stand alone, and, in that respect Ruburt feels that except for you he does, and must meet the world “head-on” when there is such conflict.

His fear of the spontaneous self originally developed simply because that self seemed so different from other people that he tried to keep it within bounds. He tried to tie it to writing alone, which was the closest approximation he could make to creative conventional activity, while still allowing himself expression. His own abilities, again, kept working through all of the frameworks, however, and none of them could content him.