1 result for (book:tps4 AND heading:"delet session januari 28 1978" AND stemmed:disapprov)
[... 4 paragraphs ...]
Last night’s events cannot be discussed without a brief preview of the time since our last session. Yesterday in particular, however, provides an excellent example of the way approval and self-disapproval work, and of the ways in which the habit of disapproval can cause you to misinterpret events, and then of course act accordingly.
Since our last session, you both made considerable efforts, so that you momentarily managed to suspend self-disapproval for some periods of time. As far as Ruburt’s physical condition is concerned this was the pattern, as once or twice I believe he mentioned, by the way. I want it understood that I am not exaggerating. However, the pattern was thusly: in rhythmic patterns of activity, the entire body, part by part, stretched itself from head to toe. This was done in the body’s own order. It was obvious to both of you, I believe, that at times Ruburt would stand a good deal taller. On some of those occasions all of the areas from the hips upward were stretching, while the legs would more or less be bent in the usual fashion. On other occasions the areas from the hips downward would stretch considerably, with much new activity in the knee joints and the ankles.
[... 6 paragraphs ...]
Ruburt in the meantime had felt his body relaxing. He wanted to go out in order to show that his attitude had changed. And to please you. You said “Don’t go out because you think you should.” He felt like crying all of a sudden, and he mentioned that. He went to the bathroom, and as he did he knew at once that his bodily situation had changed. At that point he immediately took it for granted, with a rush of self-disapproval, that this was a sign that he had learned nothing, and that his body was objecting to the whole idea of going out, and therefore challenging him—in other words, that his negative beliefs had risen to challenge new healthier attitudes.
It was obvious in the bathroom that his legs, which had been stable for several days, and showing improvements, were now trembling and insecure, but he interpreted that bodily message with self-disapproval, at the end of the hallway he had to sit down. You interpreted his situation precisely as he did, and for the same reasons, so of course there was no answer for this manufactured crisis, except that he ignore these bodily messages and act in spite of them.
[... 2 paragraphs ...]
(10:02.) Ruburt went out to his room. The phone rang. Ruburt was given what he wanted—the psychological stimulation of a friend, who was all ready to visit you because Ruburt’s message had gotten through. The psychological activity would have allowed the body to continue its process. The impulse had been a good one, to have company. Even then Ruburt was tempted to have Wade come, but his own disapproval, and yours, made it obvious that to do so would certainly be a copout. His body was not ready.
[... 3 paragraphs ...]
You helped Ruburt physically, but you heaped upon him a barrage of disapproval. That disapproval was in a way quite natural, considering your interpretation of the event. It made the situation worse, of course. You both managed at the end to not fall into the kind of situation that in the past you might have, considering the conditions.
[... 3 paragraphs ...]
Such self-disapproval can color your interpretation of events, then, forcing you to act accordingly.
[... 6 paragraphs ...]
Basically, it is this self-disapproval that forms artificial crises, that then impede your progress, cause you to misinterpret events, and act accordingly. This of course applies in the area of “Unknown,” as well as in situations in which either of you compare yourselves unfavorably with, say, your neighbors’ physical activity. It is unhealthy not to want to go out. You interpret that statement, however, in social and moral terms. Of course the healthy body wants to go out in nature. It is not morally wrong at any given time to want the opposite, or overall to prefer mental to physical activity—nor, overall, is that preference unhealthy.
[... 2 paragraphs ...]
The disapproval forces you to make a pattern in which the improvements become insignificant rather than significant. You could not understand the body’s performance last evening because you took it for granted, and without question, that some portion of Ruburt was challenging other portions.
(10:52.)Emir is a delight. Your own painting is showing definite advances. If you want challenges, learn to challenge your self-disapproval, and to question those beliefs that you take for granted as truth. No part of Ruburt rose in rebellion last evening, to defy either of you.
Self-disapproval always takes resistance for granted, and sees it at every turn, therefore of course leading to battles of one kind-or another. I do not blame you for wishing that Ruburt’s table were not necessary, but he is showing signs that he will be able to dispense with it. I do not blame you for wishing he did not need a stool at the sink, but that area has no conflict now, and Thursday he had an impulse to do the dishes without it. Yet, aids in the garage also were considered copouts.
His bathroom behavior is not only good, but even with the various rhythms mentioned, has shown improvement. His grip is stronger. Last night’s experience could, and in the past would, have severely set you back, because then your self-disapproval simply would have been deepened. You are therefore to understand what I am saying, and not to further disapprove of yourselves or your reactions, but to be pleased with your additional knowledge—for that will enable you to look at events with clearer eyes.
[... 3 paragraphs ...]