Results 1 to 20 of 72 for stemmed:disapprov
When you look for “what is wrong,” you are feeding self-disapproval. When you are looking for the reasons behind a condition, that is different. The two attitudes, while they may seem similar, are really quite opposite in their intent and effect. Ruburt recognized self-disapproval today (after her nap). He saw that the feeling itself was the culprit. He disapproved of himself because of his condition, or so he thought, and he has felt that way often. The self-disapproval causes the condition, however, and not the other way around. This got through to him.
(My own chest difficulties are much improved, although at the same time I’m not doing any additional hard physical labor. I’m simply mentioning ordinary activities—chopping a little wood, etc. I still haven’t shoveled any snow, in spite of the series of massive snowstorms we’ve experienced within the last week—the worst in over a decade. I have been rereading the latest sessions on self-disapproval, and these seem to have made the difference. Jane has also been working on her feelings of self approval and disapproval, and credits her efforts with her improvements.)
Once this was done, nature it seemed could be dealt with, could be cajoled, tricked, or reasoned with as circumstances warranted. If a large area was besieged by stormy weather of any kind, then obviously a god must have somehow disapproved of human action. It was vital that the person so disapproved of be cast out. If any doubt was present then another person would be cast out or sacrificed. Acts were scrutinized so that those offending to the gods could be clearly categorized so that men would not unknowingly offend. Tribal life became a series of ritualized activities. If certain patterns of behavior were followed and the weather was pleasant, then those patterns of behavior must be ones that were safe. If the weather turned disastrous, the people were in a quandary, reexamining the patterns of behavior, finding perhaps minute differences, suspicious variations, that seemed to occur just before the storm—so these became the new sins.
[...] When you really believe disapproval to be a virtue, and you believe in virtue, then you obviously find yourselves in a position where the more you disapprove of yourself the better person you think you are—a contradiction of the most insidious nature, for how can you approve of a self you disapprove of?
The effects added to the disapproval, for while one purpose was achieved, his stance and walking were affected. [...] But your joint disapproval was still there. It makes you uncertain of your abilities, erodes your self-confidence, and prevents you from appreciating your accomplishments—for you feel you must in some way disapprove of them. [...]
You did not trust your chair gift because of your own habit of disapproval. [...] Whenever you suspend that disapproval body and mind automatically function better and together in a smoother fashion. Only your feelings and disapproval and the lack of confidence generated causes the hopelessness about Ruburt’s situation that frequently assails you both. [...]
(Then at 10:09:) Now: Right now, self-disapproval is involved. You disapprove of yourself because you feel poorly—and because you do not approve of the basic feelings that are behind the difficulty. [...]
When you realize this, then you disapprove of yourself for not being wise enough to understand. Behind this is still the idea that self-disapproval is somehow valuable—it will somehow make you better. [...]
(Pause.) This self-disapproval does not hound you more than other men. [...] The disapproval causes you to bury them. [...]
[...] Yesterday in particular, however, provides an excellent example of the way approval and self-disapproval work, and of the ways in which the habit of disapproval can cause you to misinterpret events, and then of course act accordingly.
You helped Ruburt physically, but you heaped upon him a barrage of disapproval. That disapproval was in a way quite natural, considering your interpretation of the event. [...]
[...] Last night’s experience could, and in the past would, have severely set you back, because then your self-disapproval simply would have been deepened. You are therefore to understand what I am saying, and not to further disapprove of yourselves or your reactions, but to be pleased with your additional knowledge—for that will enable you to look at events with clearer eyes.
[...] In periods of intense inner activity that were enjoyable and productive, you disapproved of yourselves because you were not at the same time socially oriented, vigorously involved in exercises, or physically oriented pursuits, and so you disapproved of yourselves.
[...] To some extent, again then, the sale of a book, a new sale, is somehow connected in your mind with disapproval of yourself, Joseph, in that Ruburt seems able to express what I think you interpret as competitiveness, that you feel you are not expressing—and you add that to your arsenal of disapproval. [...]
[...] All of this, you see, must be considered in the light of our last session, for it involves varying degrees of self-disapproval and polarities of thought, so that the contradictions occurred in your experience—though there were more, of course, in basic terms.
[...] He does not believe in communicating disapproval or aggression. The reasons, as given many times, lie in his background, where it was not safe to express disapproval or aggression. He equates silence with disapproval. [...]
[...] Ruburt, however, feels that it is not safe to express disapproval—the opposite of your habit—and so he feels threatened to some extent because your verbal expressions are so often of that nature, even if they are not directed to him, and he inhibits his own expression of any disapproval he feels, or frustrations. [...]
[...] You felt it imperative to verbally express dissatisfaction or disapproval, generally, now—that is how words were used by your parents.
[...] He disapproved of his own dancing, sometimes even of his sexual yearnings. Now those disapprovals simply piled up, with resulting physical difficulties. [...] The disapproval was still present, however; yet now and then through the years would come a period of release, of sudden ease and sudden physical improvement—each time when he suspended self-disapproval, and when for your reasons you began to suspend your own.
[...] You were still plagued by remnants of self-disapproval and self-condemnation, however, yet the spontaneous self in each of you managed to push here and there and blaze forth whenever you gave it a chance, with some quite outstanding results.
[...] Your love and concern would not have been so apparent, you would have become dejected as a result of his condition, he would have interpreted that as disapproval and rejection, and a good week’s time might have been spent under the same conditions, so you have improved.
[...] He thinks, simply because he knows them and disapproves of them, that thinking alone removes them.
[...] By your complete absence, you see, you also led them to suspect that you disapproved, for they knew that in your other activities psychically you worked together. [...]
[...] Whenever you feel that you have not used your abilities fully, you are doing two things: you are disapproving of yourself as you are, taking it for granted that you have gone astray in an important fashion, and you are also projecting that disapproval and “error” into the future.
[...] The problem is, therefore, compounded to whatever degree—and when I give you both such reasons, then sometimes you use them, the two of you, to add to your private and joint self-disapproval.
Now understand that I am using the term “perfectionism” in a comparative fashion—but you disapprove of defects of any kind, the both of you. [...]
(10:06.) You fall into the habit of accepting the disapproval as fact, instead of realizing that it represents a feeling you have at any given time that may or may not be justified. You can kick a dog, and if you disapprove of your act that is a justified disapproval of an act (intently). [...] Your spontaneity is more than able to bridge such gaps, but often you will disapprove of it, if its suggestions go counter to negative ones concerning time that you have already given yourself.
We are back to self-disapproval, of course, but I want you to understand that while self-disapproval is a problem for most people in your society, it is a problem for the artist particularly, because it is the artist who must trust himself or herself most of all, and it is the artist who must often have no other approval to count upon. [...]