“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

It should not upset him unduly then if it seems to him that he makes “the wrong decision” at any given time, for the process of becoming aware of the impulses is now the important issue, and then to decide between them. He was feeling particularly “brave” this morning. Some ideas for Seven came, and the impulse to write them down. At the same time an inhibited impulse arose—to go to the bathroom—that he had ignored. He allowed them both to arise together. This resulted in conscious conflict before avoided, and a series of conflicting thoughts and impulses.

Lunch, and he took his shower—something else he had put off doing. Before that, however, he purposefully decided to exercise—hence the stairway. Two issues were involved. He punished himself for not writing by making the performance very difficult. On the other hand, certain ligaments had been released in the right leg. They were beginning to come into greater activity, but the leg was not ready to bear the full weight he had to put upon it for the top stair.

To some extent he knew this, but felt defiant enough to try it anyway. He had not written. He felt the impulse to paint, and did so, but by late afternoon he was in a very poor mood. He had the sense to write his notes, however, so the issue was not buried. It was a creative conflict.

In such cases, however, and with your understanding, he should feel free to call on you, regardless of what you are doing. This will be easier on you also in the long run. Such issues only arise at certain stages. His mood was so bad because he felt that he could not win no matter what he did. If he had written instead, he thought, then he would have been denying the body impulses. The “error” was simply a result of a series of such denied impulses, that he then let loose at once. It is far better, however, to do that and learn than to deny the impulses altogether.

(Pause at 11:58.) He did well at the dentist’s. Your attitude was of help. You were supportive. You will have to face together certain important issues when he feels well enough so that he actively wants to go in stores. I will give you both advice then. Recommendations: one half-hour a day, at any time, should be allowed specifically for clear physical activity, where that impulse is encouraged, and where there is no conflict. That is, he is not to be writing then or anything else. This can be for now anything—vacuuming, walking inside or out—whatever. It is a minimum period. He need not try to do more. In fact, he should not, for I want him to have a simple feeling of achievement. Give himself, for now, three hours a day for writing, or for thinking about writing—daydreaming, but no brooding.

Physically, coordination is the next important issue. Many areas already activated are learning to cooperate again with other body structures. The overall activation is coming along very well, however. Certain impulses are activated as the body realizes they have a chance for fulfillment—that is, impulses are reactivated in a certain order. They become stronger as the performance of them becomes more assured. Ruburt may therefore feel like performing acts, and he should try them before their competent execution can be carried through.