“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Yet to Ruburt’s mother, if you were a woman you either banked as she had on that femininity, and used it as a tool, or you became educated. Education meant that the feminine nature must be controlled. She was deadly frightened that Ruburt might have a child and not finish school. She also felt that Ruburt was a poor woman to begin with, in a way, because the intellect and femininity did not seem to mix—that is, Ruburt’s mother considered them odd components.

Education was a practical tool. Ruburt sought out men who would not insist upon children. This also meant that they had certain slants of mind. These slants fit in with his artistic purposes as he understood them. Because he considered himself a writer, and because he considered a writer something different from a woman, it was difficult for him to realize that he was both.

None of this would particularly show in terms of symptoms until Ruburt began to sell. Then the tool was perfected. The abilities were put to the purpose of protecting him from the hostile world, serving as economic sustenance. It became his duty to repress spontaneous feelings that might lead him astray. Before, those found expression in his dealings with the outside world—but those dealings, he felt, were no longer necessary.