“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

First of all, let us get a clearer view of your own intents through the years. Looking at your parents, you decided early that you would have a certain kind of relationship with a woman—a closeness that your father did not have with your mother—one that involved many facets of your own personality and with its purposes. Otherwise you would not have married.

You did not dwell consciously on the kind of woman you wanted. Some men never achieve any kind of creative or stable relationship with a woman, and so they are acutely aware of that lack in their lives. One purpose was met, then, when you married Ruburt. Your desire to paint, per se, did not emerge full blown when you were a young man, and one probable self is happily engaged in commercial artwork. He wonders what would have happened had he done something else. You did not meet Ruburt either until you were in your thirties, so the challenges set were not those that would be solved by a conventionally young man.