“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Give us a moment.... Some of your private and joint problems spring from cultural beliefs that you are intellectually aware of, but not emotionally free from. Your idea of a separate painting studio, and some of your attendant ideas, are simply hangovers that you do not have to accept, springing from your father and his garage. You are aware of the connection, but you make no attempt to get above it.

You also have ideas of guilt about your painting that are culturally induced. Again, you recognize them, but you do not try to rise above them emotionally. The painting does not bring in money, so to punish yourself you do not enjoy it sufficiently—but concentrate upon the distractions instead. You do your financial part with the books, but you still tie in your social identity with your painting, and to some extent you still feel that that social identity is dependent upon the money your “art” should produce, so you punish yourself by not enjoying your painting time. This also impedes your spontaneity in painting, of course.

Ruburt fears that if he were suddenly better he would add to your distractions, so when distractions seem threatening to you he emphasizes the symptoms: if he were better, would you want him to do all the chores? So your ideas about distractions intertwine. If he were better he could help you with the chores—but if he could, would you then withdraw to your studio and leave them all to him? All of this because distractions, so to speak, are considered threats. All of this because you both believe there are serious impediments in the way of creative work, and obstacles ever-present to mitigate against your creativity. So you each react differently. At the same time, because of some cultural beliefs, you are still not all that trustful about creativity to begin with.