“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You did not dwell consciously on the kind of woman you wanted. Some men never achieve any kind of creative or stable relationship with a woman, and so they are acutely aware of that lack in their lives. One purpose was met, then, when you married Ruburt. Your desire to paint, per se, did not emerge full blown when you were a young man, and one probable self is happily engaged in commercial artwork. He wonders what would have happened had he done something else. You did not meet Ruburt either until you were in your thirties, so the challenges set were not those that would be solved by a conventionally young man.

You could have followed still another course—one in which you did not become involved in any intellectual or challenging concepts but bypassed them completely. That kind of painting can be excellent, but it also involves an intense immersion in the emotions, to the exclusion of any important conceptualizing. The greatest kind of painting includes both the intuitions and the intellect, but in your terms this also requires the maturing of the high intellect. You decided to take that course. In a different way Ruburt chose the same journey. Had he not delved into deeper questions, he could very well have been the novelist, going no further than a novelist can into the nature of personality or motivation.

I said once that Ruburt became hypnotized by the symptoms, and you agreed. But you become as hypnotized by your own thought patterns in certain areas. When you do so your accomplishments seem to vanish, and you cannot take comfort from them. It seems that the ideas do not work only when you do not use them. You react differently to the same set of challenges. Your strengths reinforce each other, but so do your misunderstandings.

Those refinements that you want of technique are within you now. Only your worrying slows their actualization. Together you can solve both challenges. You can get on top of your lives in these important respects. But you must be willing to do so, and use the methods given. Both of you can help each other. And the results will seem as miraculous, as this house might have, had you suddenly been transported to it ten years ago.