“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You did not dwell consciously on the kind of woman you wanted. Some men never achieve any kind of creative or stable relationship with a woman, and so they are acutely aware of that lack in their lives. One purpose was met, then, when you married Ruburt. Your desire to paint, per se, did not emerge full blown when you were a young man, and one probable self is happily engaged in commercial artwork. He wonders what would have happened had he done something else. You did not meet Ruburt either until you were in your thirties, so the challenges set were not those that would be solved by a conventionally young man.

(10:42.) Great talent requires great spontaneity. Neither of you really believe it. You put up barriers to protect the creative self from the exterior world, which you fear would destroy it, and from the interior world, for left alone the creative self might just slam paint upon a canvas without discipline, or might show more than we are willing to show. We do not trust ourselves to spontaneously develop our own technique. Spontaneity knows its own order. Order springs from spontaneity, and spontaneity from order.