“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Some used —see Appendix 2 for Session 680 in Volume 1of The “Uknown” Reality.)

I want to return to a discussion of your specialized focus, individually and jointly. Earlier, it was all that you knew—that is, both of you more and more in young years began to identify with what you thought of as your artistic selves, more or less to the exclusion of other portions of the self.

Now. You knew you needed training and experience to do any writing. You would never consciously face what appeared to be the conflict between writing and painting. You would not take the time out consciously from painting to write. In the framework there was a nagging conflict. You managed to get the training, the experience, in such a way that you by-passed the seeming conflict.

Now. Remember what I said the other night, about the lack of encouragement there on your part. It is highly interesting, considering your ease of mobility, and brings in many more aspects than you realize. For Ruburt, dancing, his one inclination to flaunt himself, comes into direct conflict with your ideas of privacy and secrecy. When he is obviously not in the best of physical condition and then wants to dance, this to you is showing his weakness to the world. You, with your history of athletic behavior, and your love of “perfect motion,” immediately contrast his activities with the time when he danced with the greatest of ease.

Both of you, so far, still believe that your spontaneity must be measured out because of those specialized focuses, and for no other reason. That focus has prevented you each from seeing what you have, from using it fully in all areas, and from recognizing your achievements, creatively, financially, and otherwise.

There are comprehensions, illuminations, that cannot be verbalized, that arise as a result of illuminations solving problems that on the one hand seem to have nothing to do with the problems. These however are fulfillments quite unpredictable, that come about as you solve what appears to be one main problem. They are achievements that arise out of a given situation, often even while in your terms the given problem may not seem solved.

Your writing abilities for example would not have emerged had that original course and specialized focus been followed to a “t.” Had that original course and specialized focus been followed to a “t,” Ruburt’s abilities would not have emerged either. In other words the specialized course to which you thought you were trying to hold so tenaciously, was indeed not that tenaciously followed. You each protested, yet did what you wanted to do. You just kept trying to fit what you did into a framework that you had outgrown. You had each identified with that framework so strongly that you were afraid to let it go.

Ruburt used his body as a symbol of the entire situation, and the symptoms as a way of maintaining privacy, and lack of distraction on both of your parts—again, inhibiting sexual freedom, spontaneous outings that threatened both of your ideas. He would go so far, throw out test balloons, and meet with your disapproval. The disapproval was yours, and you saw his fears projected upon you. You were both happy when he showed some improvement, because neither of you wanted physical disability carried too far, but as soon as he showed signs of being free enough so that he could really take a trip, or dance, you both clamped down. He always waited to see what you would do, and these episodes, again, occurred after enough improvement, so that first he wanted to go out. Sometimes he forced himself to, thinking he was denying you the pleasure of your bars and outings. But despite what you said, he saw that you did indeed disapprove.

At the same time, and somewhat because of your attitudes, he felt his womanly reality a threat to both of you as artists. A new organization is more than in the making. It is happening on both of your parts, and I am bringing it to the surface of your attention.

It will involve all levels of your realities, and include also your business dealings, your joint attitudes toward Prentice, the reasons for them, and the new framework in which you will be working.

Helping Ruburt with the mail is also a financial contribution. It is far more than that, but each of you must understand that you are partners in this endeavor in every part of it. The psychic development did not just occur. Your deepest natures called it out of the probable sequence into your reality—for a reason, because (each of) you knew that it could best develop all of your (respective) abilities to their fullest, and also help others.

Your ideas about the letter (to correspondents) are encouraging first motions toward what I am speaking of, as are Ruburt’s ideas about class, and your sexual advances. You have a way to make a living, and a good one. You each contribute. That much will free you to paint, and sell your paintings.

Indeed we will. And now I bid you a fond good evening (very loud), and what blessings I have to give, I give you. And those I do not have, I know you will find.