“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

After vocally and otherwise objecting for a good eight years, he stopped outwardly objecting. For one thing, he began to agree with you. For another, he was too “proud” to be so humiliated. Did he spontaneously want company, he felt this deeply disloyal to you. He began to discipline himself more and more, trying to fit your image to himself. There were obviously reasons why, on his part, and these, in the past, have been covered. I am speaking of interactions, not blame.

Both of you, so far, still believe that your spontaneity must be measured out because of those specialized focuses, and for no other reason. That focus has prevented you each from seeing what you have, from using it fully in all areas, and from recognizing your achievements, creatively, financially, and otherwise.

Ruburt used his body as a symbol of the entire situation, and the symptoms as a way of maintaining privacy, and lack of distraction on both of your parts—again, inhibiting sexual freedom, spontaneous outings that threatened both of your ideas. He would go so far, throw out test balloons, and meet with your disapproval. The disapproval was yours, and you saw his fears projected upon you. You were both happy when he showed some improvement, because neither of you wanted physical disability carried too far, but as soon as he showed signs of being free enough so that he could really take a trip, or dance, you both clamped down. He always waited to see what you would do, and these episodes, again, occurred after enough improvement, so that first he wanted to go out. Sometimes he forced himself to, thinking he was denying you the pleasure of your bars and outings. But despite what you said, he saw that you did indeed disapprove.

Giving himself psychic spontaneity might mean somehow giving into that spontaneity that both of you feared. Whenever psychic developments show themselves then, Ruburt improves in health, as he allows his energies their spontaneous play and expression. This flows into his writing, his physical condition, and your private lives.