“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I want to return to a discussion of your specialized focus, individually and jointly. Earlier, it was all that you knew—that is, both of you more and more in young years began to identify with what you thought of as your artistic selves, more or less to the exclusion of other portions of the self.

Because you saw yourself with such specialized focus, unknowingly you blocked out stimuli that as a painter you could have used. Because of your joint ideas—you, the artist, Ruburt the writer—then your financial contribution was strictly limited by both of you to that one field.

You did not, fully now, realize your contribution to Seth Speaks in financial terms, though you understood your creative contribution. Ruburt did not either, until lately, because it was a matter of self-evidence: your contribution financially would come through painting alone. So for a while you were hassled that you were not financially contributing after you left Artistic, and so was Ruburt. You were contributing financially, but neither of you correctly understood this because of that specialized focus.

Ruburt did not want to understand, for he was afraid, in your joint framework, that you would stop painting, and not use the framework you were supposed to, to get money. He thought this would be a failure on your part, for which he would be at least partially responsible. You each had blind spots because your focuses were too specialized and limited.

Because of that specialized, limited focus, however, to varying degrees each of you were divided within yourselves. Ruburt feared that the psychic work conflicted with the writer, and detracted from you in your focus as an artist. This was apparent in the most minute circumstances, and colored your lives. Did Ruburt feel like making love during your working hours in earlier years, you actively discouraged him, and told him through actions and words that displays of innocent affection turned you on sexually, and disturbed you when you wanted to paint.

Both of you, so far, still believe that your spontaneity must be measured out because of those specialized focuses, and for no other reason. That focus has prevented you each from seeing what you have, from using it fully in all areas, and from recognizing your achievements, creatively, financially, and otherwise.

Your writing abilities for example would not have emerged had that original course and specialized focus been followed to a “t.” Had that original course and specialized focus been followed to a “t,” Ruburt’s abilities would not have emerged either. In other words the specialized course to which you thought you were trying to hold so tenaciously, was indeed not that tenaciously followed. You each protested, yet did what you wanted to do. You just kept trying to fit what you did into a framework that you had outgrown. You had each identified with that framework so strongly that you were afraid to let it go.

Now. The psychic work, which is a natural extension of both of your creative abilities, could not be fully utilized by you, individually or jointly, while you maintained such a rigid, specialized focus. Ruburt feared that it might be taking you from your one true purpose as a painter. Not realizing, either of you, your financial contribution through the works, you felt and so did he, after Artistic, that he carried the brunt financially.