“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

There are comprehensions, illuminations, that cannot be verbalized, that arise as a result of illuminations solving problems that on the one hand seem to have nothing to do with the problems. These however are fulfillments quite unpredictable, that come about as you solve what appears to be one main problem. They are achievements that arise out of a given situation, often even while in your terms the given problem may not seem solved.

Ruburt used his body as a symbol of the entire situation, and the symptoms as a way of maintaining privacy, and lack of distraction on both of your parts—again, inhibiting sexual freedom, spontaneous outings that threatened both of your ideas. He would go so far, throw out test balloons, and meet with your disapproval. The disapproval was yours, and you saw his fears projected upon you. You were both happy when he showed some improvement, because neither of you wanted physical disability carried too far, but as soon as he showed signs of being free enough so that he could really take a trip, or dance, you both clamped down. He always waited to see what you would do, and these episodes, again, occurred after enough improvement, so that first he wanted to go out. Sometimes he forced himself to, thinking he was denying you the pleasure of your bars and outings. But despite what you said, he saw that you did indeed disapprove.