“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Notes before session: My sportsman self. My writing and painting selves. Father’s secrecy and my identification. My financial contribution. Jane’s fears. Our creative errors. Our attitudes re Prentice. Our attitudes re correspondence. Jane’s flexibility. Her dancing. My selling paintings. Mother.

Your father’s creativity, as mentioned (in other sessions), before, had its side of secrecy, privacy and aloneness. Again as mentioned, you identified creativity with your father’s private nature. The writing self became latent as the sportsman did, yet the writer self and the artist were closely bound. You felt conflicts at times. It never occurred to you that the two aspects could release one another—one illuminating the other—and both be fulfilled. Instead you saw them, basically now, as conflicting. Time spent writing meant time not spent painting.

With a different focus, you for example can paint and write, utilizing both abilities to the best, and sell both. The old framework was so restrictive that your ideas of secrecy, protection and privacy made you want to protect yourself to such a degree that you did not want your paintings to sell, to share them with others. You wanted to protect them—the products of your ability, as well as your ability, from the world.

Now. Remember what I said the other night, about the lack of encouragement there on your part. It is highly interesting, considering your ease of mobility, and brings in many more aspects than you realize. For Ruburt, dancing, his one inclination to flaunt himself, comes into direct conflict with your ideas of privacy and secrecy. When he is obviously not in the best of physical condition and then wants to dance, this to you is showing his weakness to the world. You, with your history of athletic behavior, and your love of “perfect motion,” immediately contrast his activities with the time when he danced with the greatest of ease.