“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You believed the painting self had to be protected. For one reason, you identified your painting creative self with your father, and you felt that he had had to protect his creative self in the household from your mother. As these ideas became entrenched, you actually became more concerned with protecting your ability than with using it. You spent more mental energy setting up barriers to protect it, so that any one instance, say, of interruption or conflict, would immediately arouse the power of the buried fear, and become a symbol for it. You learned repression. Therefore, free time was not enjoyed creatively. You could not paint freely in it, for you were so on guard against distractions that anything could distract you.

After vocally and otherwise objecting for a good eight years, he stopped outwardly objecting. For one thing, he began to agree with you. For another, he was too “proud” to be so humiliated. Did he spontaneously want company, he felt this deeply disloyal to you. He began to discipline himself more and more, trying to fit your image to himself. There were obviously reasons why, on his part, and these, in the past, have been covered. I am speaking of interactions, not blame.

Both of you, so far, still believe that your spontaneity must be measured out because of those specialized focuses, and for no other reason. That focus has prevented you each from seeing what you have, from using it fully in all areas, and from recognizing your achievements, creatively, financially, and otherwise.

It will involve all levels of your realities, and include also your business dealings, your joint attitudes toward Prentice, the reasons for them, and the new framework in which you will be working.

Helping Ruburt with the mail is also a financial contribution. It is far more than that, but each of you must understand that you are partners in this endeavor in every part of it. The psychic development did not just occur. Your deepest natures called it out of the probable sequence into your reality—for a reason, because (each of) you knew that it could best develop all of your (respective) abilities to their fullest, and also help others.