“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The sportsman that you might have been would have gathered, from that same available background, other attitudes and ideas that would fit in with his concept of himself, and fit his core focus. The (childhood) camping background served as rich source material, to be used in any way you chose. The sportsman, the writer or the artist—any of them would utilize that background differently, but well, and in such a way that it was particularly suited.

You did not, fully now, realize your contribution to Seth Speaks in financial terms, though you understood your creative contribution. Ruburt did not either, until lately, because it was a matter of self-evidence: your contribution financially would come through painting alone. So for a while you were hassled that you were not financially contributing after you left Artistic, and so was Ruburt. You were contributing financially, but neither of you correctly understood this because of that specialized focus.

His reaction was to not hide the ability in your way, but to force the world to accept it. Again, it is important that since the works were published—even for example the ESP book—neither of you understood your (my) financial contribution. Even to the ESP book, not just the session material that you took down. But your limited focuses blinded you. That kind of contribution was literally invisible—not legitimate, because you had not sold paintings.

Ruburt used his body as a symbol of the entire situation, and the symptoms as a way of maintaining privacy, and lack of distraction on both of your parts—again, inhibiting sexual freedom, spontaneous outings that threatened both of your ideas. He would go so far, throw out test balloons, and meet with your disapproval. The disapproval was yours, and you saw his fears projected upon you. You were both happy when he showed some improvement, because neither of you wanted physical disability carried too far, but as soon as he showed signs of being free enough so that he could really take a trip, or dance, you both clamped down. He always waited to see what you would do, and these episodes, again, occurred after enough improvement, so that first he wanted to go out. Sometimes he forced himself to, thinking he was denying you the pleasure of your bars and outings. But despite what you said, he saw that you did indeed disapprove.

(In here, I had to laugh as Seth spoke. Not in mockery, but rather in bewilderment at the seemingly endless paths that a chain of thought, once undertaken, could follow. I wondered if Jane and I could ever untangle the paths. As I told her later that evening when we lay in bed: the session seemed to chronicle a list of fears.)

In the past you have let this go so far, each of you. This time I hope you will see this larger framework, in which you understand that creative abilities must be nourished but not overprotected; in which you see that they have their own greater strength and direction.

Helping Ruburt with the mail is also a financial contribution. It is far more than that, but each of you must understand that you are partners in this endeavor in every part of it. The psychic development did not just occur. Your deepest natures called it out of the probable sequence into your reality—for a reason, because (each of) you knew that it could best develop all of your (respective) abilities to their fullest, and also help others.

Now. While you smile at me, you still think that you must protect yourself against distractions, as if they are purposely lined up like enemies against you. This has nothing to do with consciously deciding how you want to spend your time, but with those inner fears that make you think of your time as something that must be protected—that considers your talent so fragile that it will wither if you do not make great effort to protect it.

(“No.... Actually, I have lots of them, but we’ll get to them later.”)