“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(A note: Late this morning Jane and I drove up to the Hoffman Street post office and mailed the corrected script of Personal Reality to Prentice-Hall. Now we wait for page proofs, supposedly due in a month or so, correct those, and our part of the long job will be done. I told Jane I thought the book would be very successful.

Viewing you as he viewed himself, using the same logic, he was afraid however that basically you felt our work a detriment to your own, and that its success, while pleasing you on the one hand, might prevent you from success as an artist because you would not have the time, and that you would basically resent it. You always encouraged him in our work, and he knew this. Still, your part in it conflicted with his ideas of you and what you wanted.

He wanted you to have what you wanted to have. He considered your painting—and much that he has done has been on your behalf as well as his own. It may seem, as you say, that he did not take your feelings into consideration—as no man wants, on that level, to see his wife at all incapacitated. But in his own way, and no matter how misguided, he was trying to pace himself and his temperament with yours, to play up those mental writing abilities that would help his career, and in which you took such pride—and while doing that, play down qualities that might distract you from your own work, by encouraging physical activities—parties, vacations, travelings, that would further take up your time, when you were already taking time away from your art to help him in psychic work.

The concentration would also provide financial fruits. He would not be making money for both of you that would enable you to paint, etc., but losing it, if he allowed himself the freedom to run all over the place, take vacations, etc. He thought he was buying you time, and for himself as well.

Sex became dangerous—not to protect your persons—which would be delighted, but to protect your rigid, limited ideas of your “artistic selves”—the writer and the artist might be threatened, and so your personal lives must suffer, and the persons be shoved away.

Now if you can understand that, and those reactions in the sexual area, then you can understand how Ruburt simply carried them further than you would; the same rationale applies. The artist and the writer are not dependent upon such inhibiting factors, but instead limited by them.

It is true, cortisone is released through the system in love-making, and Ruburt needs it. He is a sexually responsive and expressive woman. I realize the ambiguities in that sentence. It is precisely because he is that the two of you together see to it that your sexual activity is minimal—and neither of you have regretted it on deeper levels. (Forcefully in here.) You may complain, to save face, both of you, and only a strong relationship like yours would survive under those conditions.

Some of Ruburt’s students would receive great feelings of creative endeavor if you allowed them the simple pleasure of making out envelopes for your (new) letter (to correspondents), but you are afraid of sharing that work, menial as it is. The two of you are doing what you have decided to do, and producing what you have decided to produce. You have put impediments in your way, but you are producing regardless. You are embarked upon a work that you are determined to embark upon. You are successes, whether or not you insist upon thinking of yourselves sometimes as failures.

I would like to see regular sessions again also. It is now for each of you to say, how many times a week. You will be provided for spiritually, physically and financially, as individually and jointly you accept the selves that you are and the work in which you are involved. Ruburt should also read our last session again, and I bid you a fond good evening. I will have remarks on helper, and other related material, at our next session.