“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Both of you have seen yourselves in the past in a rather specialized light, and interpreted your success, or lack of it, or progress or lack of it, in one particular area only; and you had at least, each of you, a tendency to view the other in the same manner, though this was far more emphasized on Ruburt’s part. So you thought of yourself as an artist, primarily, and judged your success, or lack of it, through that focus, and generally through that focus only.

Ruburt saw himself as a writer, and judged himself through that focus, and other accomplishments that did not rigidly adhere to that focus were not considered successes, or even were jealously regarded as detriments. It is far more obvious now in Ruburt’s case than in your own. Because of this, however, he was never sure whether or not you resented the time spent in this work—the sessions.

You are each far more consciously aware consciously of the course you have chosen, individually and together, than you realize. All along the way there were many choices that each of you made, leading to your present position. As you mentioned following your parents’ deaths, there was a sense of aloneness. It is because Ruburt always felt that aloneness that he has in his own way tried to serve both of your purposes at the same time. (I felt bad for Jane’s aloneness.)

The same applies to Ruburt. Your relationship is used as a model by others, people who have found in their adulthood no way as yet to relate to their mate in a meaningful manner—(humorously:) regardless of how many times they do it a month.

The same applies to Ruburt. Give us a moment.... (9:11.)

I suggest you read the session I gave concerning the importance of the person from which the artist or writer springs. I suggest also that Ruburt read it especially. All of the individual and joint inhibitions you have placed upon yourselves spring directly from those specialized versions of yourselves.

Now if you can understand that, and those reactions in the sexual area, then you can understand how Ruburt simply carried them further than you would; the same rationale applies. The artist and the writer are not dependent upon such inhibiting factors, but instead limited by them.

Now. Ruburt is always better physically when we have regular sessions; as now, looking back, you can see by contrast.

For many reasons, the body uses the extra energy that is available in sessions. Ruburt is using his natural abilities and the fulfillment helps physically.

It is true, cortisone is released through the system in love-making, and Ruburt needs it. He is a sexually responsive and expressive woman. I realize the ambiguities in that sentence. It is precisely because he is that the two of you together see to it that your sexual activity is minimal—and neither of you have regretted it on deeper levels. (Forcefully in here.) You may complain, to save face, both of you, and only a strong relationship like yours would survive under those conditions.

Ruburt’s condition does put you off, so neither of you have to contend with exuberant physical desire, that might interrupt you. Now, this is mainly, but only mainly, on Ruburt’s part; but it is in deep response to your early attitudes, and some of those still continue: to you it seems obvious where Ruburt “errs,” yet some of your own strategy very neatly escapes you, so that the rationalization so clear to you on Ruburt’s part, is invisible in your own case.

Ruburt will progress so far, then progress stops. This results from both of your attitudes and behavior. I will give you an example. After Ruburt has not been out publicly for a while—to a bar or restaurant—or met people, he becomes frightened. In his mind he sees people looking at him. He sees himself as an eyesore, and wants to hide. Then, utilizing our sessions, he begins to improve. Impulses arise again to go out—for dinner, to mix with others, to a bar.

When such an improvement of attitude does occur on Ruburt’s part, it takes considerable courage for him to take or initiate that first step—and you do not ease the way, but in the meantime go along until he makes such a suggestion first. When you finally do both go out, at the most two or three times in a row, something happens. What could it be?

Ruburt enjoys himself in the face of his condition. He is revitalized. He tries his best under the circumstances to look his perkiest, to have fun. He wants to dance, and he tries, and he does. Then all of a sudden you say, Joseph, “You are not any better. What good does it do to go out?” before you have allowed enough time, and without even acknowledging that Ruburt has lost his fear, which is the most important point of all (and which I haven’t realized)—for from that all else will follow.

Some of Ruburt’s students would receive great feelings of creative endeavor if you allowed them the simple pleasure of making out envelopes for your (new) letter (to correspondents), but you are afraid of sharing that work, menial as it is. The two of you are doing what you have decided to do, and producing what you have decided to produce. You have put impediments in your way, but you are producing regardless. You are embarked upon a work that you are determined to embark upon. You are successes, whether or not you insist upon thinking of yourselves sometimes as failures.

Now embarked upon our work, which is also your work, wholeheartedly, your painting abilities and writing abilities will be fully used and developed, and so will Ruburt’s abilities. Working wholeheartedly together, you will and can achieve a unity in spirit and body that few can match, and be led toward achievements that will and must also fulfill your personhood.

I would like to see regular sessions again also. It is now for each of you to say, how many times a week. You will be provided for spiritually, physically and financially, as individually and jointly you accept the selves that you are and the work in which you are involved. Ruburt should also read our last session again, and I bid you a fond good evening. I will have remarks on helper, and other related material, at our next session.