“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Your decision not to go to Florida had little to do with the energy crisis. You were both loath to leave your work behind and to allow yourselves the “lax” freedom. You wanted to get on with your own work, and to wait for the proofs of my book. You felt guilty at the thought of enjoying yourself so soon after your mother’s death. You felt some self-punishment, denying yourself the trip to make up for what you felt you might have done for her in the past.

Both of you have kept yourselves uneasy in your environment lest you become too comfortable. You concentrate upon the annoyances of your neighbors lest you become too close to them and emotionally involved and touched. You have lived here some years yet purposely avoided thinking of it, this apartment, as anything but transitory lest you put down roots and become involved in ways that might distract you from your work and purposes. Give us a moment.... You do not buy much furniture so that the idea of being transitory is more convincing. At the same time you stay where you are so you can work, while denying yourselves the sense of ease that you could otherwise enjoy.

(9:55.) Give us a moment.... You both are so afraid of being tied down however that even in the apartment you did not allow yourselves really to feel at home—to buy your furniture, cheap or expensive. You love and hate family, precisely as Ruburt does. He because he never really had one, and you because you did.

You have never allowed yourselves creative decorating freedom here, for example, and thus denied yourselves considerable satisfaction. Now the walking is directly involved with all of this. With the ideas of either buying a house or going to Florida, and what these issues involve in line with your current beliefs as given. Your mother’s death makes Ruburt want to go further inward for more answers. At the same time he is trying to make outer decisions.