“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

At the same time you think, for several reasons, that at your age you should have a house, privacy to work, a way even of proving to your brothers that you have as much as they. Ruburt instead sees a trailer by the ocean, with each of you writing and painting—his vision, because that establishment requires no housekeeping and a small cash outlay.

A house in town reminds you each of family living, and you of your neighborhood. At the same time for all your protest, the (to me) apartment noises are comforting. You interpret them as conflicts. They remind you of the noises in your family home, conflicting and yet comforting. You rail at them, railing at your parents’ arguments. To Ruburt the sounds are reassuring. He is not alone with his mother any more.

Each of you sees buying a house now as a threat, though you are at times tempted. You have always seen family life yourself as a threat to artistic production, and the first thing you would do if you had a house would be to build a studio outside of it. You did not want children. Whatever methods Ruburt chose to insure that you were childless you proclaimed with joy, glad that you were not the woman.

Now: the other side of the picture. Ruburt sought you out for much the same reasons, with reincarnational background to be given. But Ruburt was the female: you would not bear any child, so the effort had to be strong on his part. Thoughts of buying a house throw both of you into a quandary because they directly come in conflict with your private ideas about your work and purposes, and your places in the world.

Give us a moment.... Your ideas of rustic simplicity do not match your feelings about dedication to work. Ruburt’s ideas of owning a house do not match his ideas of dedication to work. That is why his interpretation is a trailer. Both ideas are idealized, sentimentalized and distorted in your minds, and either could be incorporated in your ideas of work if you were aware of the conflicts.

You have never allowed yourselves creative decorating freedom here, for example, and thus denied yourselves considerable satisfaction. Now the walking is directly involved with all of this. With the ideas of either buying a house or going to Florida, and what these issues involve in line with your current beliefs as given. Your mother’s death makes Ruburt want to go further inward for more answers. At the same time he is trying to make outer decisions.