“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You live in private yet joint realities. Ruburt has chosen his, and you have chosen that his reality be involved with yours. Ruburt is not simply stuck with a bunch of symptoms, and you are not stuck just with a wife who has problems.

Ruburt was already leery of putting his physical condition to the test of the trip, and so easily acquiesced, worried also that perhaps he would lose out on Aspects, that was already contracted for.

At the same time you think, for several reasons, that at your age you should have a house, privacy to work, a way even of proving to your brothers that you have as much as they. Ruburt instead sees a trailer by the ocean, with each of you writing and painting—his vision, because that establishment requires no housekeeping and a small cash outlay.

A house in town reminds you each of family living, and you of your neighborhood. At the same time for all your protest, the (to me) apartment noises are comforting. You interpret them as conflicts. They remind you of the noises in your family home, conflicting and yet comforting. You rail at them, railing at your parents’ arguments. To Ruburt the sounds are reassuring. He is not alone with his mother any more.

Some of the symptoms then were indeed to insure your joint work integrity. You identified as a child whose presence betrayed its father, your father being forced to support you, particularly in the Depression. Ruburt as you know had his own reasons. Ruburt’s relative immobility kept him childless. You were turned off physically often, or he was not able to perform when you were not turned off.

Your father was inventive, his creativity in that line you felt dwarfed by family responsibility. Your creativity would not be. You chose a woman (beside reincarnational reasons which you will finally be given one day) who would not bear children and who would have as strong a commitment as your own.

Now: the other side of the picture. Ruburt sought you out for much the same reasons, with reincarnational background to be given. But Ruburt was the female: you would not bear any child, so the effort had to be strong on his part. Thoughts of buying a house throw both of you into a quandary because they directly come in conflict with your private ideas about your work and purposes, and your places in the world.

Give us a moment.... Your ideas of rustic simplicity do not match your feelings about dedication to work. Ruburt’s ideas of owning a house do not match his ideas of dedication to work. That is why his interpretation is a trailer. Both ideas are idealized, sentimentalized and distorted in your minds, and either could be incorporated in your ideas of work if you were aware of the conflicts.